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Occasionally, I would hear a familiar voice, and that brought some comfort.
有時，我會聽到一個熟悉的聲音，那會給我?guī)硪恍┦孢m。
Whenever Sean came into the room, he would call out, "Hey, honey, I'm here."
每當肖恩進到房間里，他都會大喊，“嘿，親愛的，我在這里。”
I know that only because he has told me so since then, not because I remember it.
我之所以知道那件事，只是因為從那時起他就這樣告訴我，而不是因為我記得這件事。
He says I would open my eyes and look around like I was looking right through him.
他說我會睜開眼睛，環(huán)顧四周，就像我正透過他看一樣。
I was too out of it to think, Oh, that's Sean, but I did sense the familiarity.
我太迷糊了，無法思考，奧，那是肖恩。但是我感受到了那種熟悉。
I relished when someone would hold my hand, stroke my head, or comb my hair.
當有人握著我的手，撫摸我的頭或者梳我的頭發(fā)時，我很享受。
That was the good part. The dreams were the bad part. Over and over, I had graphic nightmares about being attacked.
這是好的部分。噩夢則是不好的部分。一次又一次，我做了自己被攻擊的噩夢。
I now know that the dreams came when the nurses were cleaning my wounds.
我現(xiàn)在知道了，當護士們清理我的傷口時，我就會做這些噩夢。
Although I was heavily sedated, my blood pressure would spike, and they would see my face grimacing.
盡管我服用了大量鎮(zhèn)靜劑，但是我的血壓也會飆升，他們會看到我臉上痛苦的表情。
Even in that state, I recognized the pain, but I couldn't process it, so my brain turned it into the only thing that made sense: assault.
即使是在那個狀態(tài)，我都能感覺到痛苦，但是我不能處理它，所以我的大腦把它轉(zhuǎn)變成唯一合理的事情：攻擊。
In mid-November, with my body stabilized, I was moved to the Gaylord Specialty Healthcare facility in Wallingford, Connecticut, to begin physical therapy.
11月中旬，身體穩(wěn)定下來后，我被轉(zhuǎn)移到了康涅狄格州沃林福德的蓋洛德專業(yè)醫(yī)療機構(gòu)，開始接受物理治療。
It was my next ring of hell. My therapists wanted me to try to walk with a walker.
這是我下一個地獄之旅。我的治療師想讓我試著用助行器走路。
It was difficult and painful and, for someone who had considered herself an athlete, disheartening.
這是艱難而痛苦的，對于某個曾認為自己是運動員的人來說，是沮喪的。
I just couldn't do it." Am I ever going to walk normally again?" I asked. "We don't know, but we're going to work on it," the therapist said.
我做不到。“我還能不能正常走路？”我問道。“我們不知道，但是我們得努力恢復(fù)。”治療師說。
They were so damn honest. What pulled me out of my funk was remembering a speech I'd heard by Nobel Prize laureate Jody Williams.
他們太誠實了。使我從恐懼中走出來的是想起諾貝爾獎得主喬迪·威廉姆斯的一次演講。
In it, she said, "Emotion without action is irrelevant." She was right. Screw this, I thought. There has to be a reason I'm still alive.
她在演講里說，“沒有行動的情感是無關(guān)痛癢的。”她是對的。去他的，我想。我還活著一定是有原因的。
All this wasted emotion feeling miserable for myself needed a direction.
所有這些為自己感到痛苦的浪費掉的情感需要一個方向。
The direction I chose was gratitude. I thought of all the people who had saved my life.
我選擇的方向是感激。我想到了所有拯救我生命的人。
The strangers who ran to my side after the truck hit me; the doctors and nurses who brought me back from death more than once;
卡車撞到我后跑到我身邊的陌生人；不止一次把我從死亡中拯救出來的醫(yī)生和護士；
the staff at Gaylord who were doggedly helping me walk again and relearn basic tasks.
蓋洛德的工作人員堅持不懈地幫助我重新行走，重新學習基本的活動。
And then there were the strangers who had donated their life-giving blood.
還有哪些捐血給我生命之血的陌生人。
In order for me to receive those 78 units of blood, as well as 25 bags of plasma and platelets,
為了讓我接受那78單位的血液，以及25袋血漿和血小板，
more than 125 people had to donate theirs. Suddenly I felt a need to do something to honor them.
超過125人不得不捐出他們的血液。突然，我覺得有必要做點什么來尊敬他們。
