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Seven. A man is driving home from work when his wife calls him on his cell phone.
一男子下班開車回家，這時(shí)他妻子給他打來電話。
"Phil!" she shouts in a panic, "Please be careful! I just heard that some lunatic is driving the wrong way on Route 80."
她驚慌地大叫，“菲爾，請小心！我剛聽說有個(gè)瘋子在80號(hào)公路上逆行。”
"You won't believe it, Doris," he replies. "It's not just one car; it's hundreds of them!"
丈夫說，“桃瑞絲，你不會(huì)相信的。不是一輛車在逆行；是成百上千輛車在逆行！”
In other words... Sometimes there is a reason everybody's doing it one way. (Yes, Mom, we hear you!)
換言之...有時(shí)候每個(gè)人都用一種方式做事是有原因的。（是的，媽媽，我們聽到了！）
Eight. After weeks of rain, a town flooded and residents had to be evacuated.
幾周的雨水使一個(gè)鎮(zhèn)子淹沒了，鎮(zhèn)子的居民不得不疏散。
At one house, rescue workers found a man standing waist-deep in water. "C'mon! Get in the boat!" the rescuers shouted.
在一個(gè)人家，救援者發(fā)現(xiàn)了一名男子站在齊腰深的水中。救援者喊道，“來吧！快上船！”
The man shouted back, "No! I have faith in God, and He will save me!"
這名男子喊道，“不！我信仰上帝，他會(huì)來救我的！”
Soon the floodwaters chased the man to the second floor. Luckily, though, another boat came by.
很快，洪水把這個(gè)人沖到了二樓。幸運(yùn)的是，另一艘船經(jīng)過。
"Get in the boat!" the rescuers urged. "No way!" the man said. "I have faith in God, and He will save me!"
“上船！”救援人員催促道。這名男子說道，“不可能！”“我相信上帝，他會(huì)救我的!”
The floodwaters continued to rise, and the man had to climb to the roof of his house.
洪水繼續(xù)上漲，這個(gè)人不得不爬上屋頂。
Fortunately, a rescue helicopter came by and dropped a ladder for him. The pilot shouted through a megaphone, "Grab the ladder!"The man refused.
幸運(yùn)的是，一架救援直升機(jī)經(jīng)過，為他扔下了一架梯子。飛行員通過擴(kuò)音器喊道：“抓住梯子！”那人拒絕了。
"No! I have faith in God, and He will save me!" But the floodwaters rose above the roof.
“不！我相信上帝，他必救我。”但是洪水漲到了屋頂上。
The man was swept away and drowned. When he arrived at the pearly gates, he demanded an audience with God.
那人被沖走淹死了。當(dāng)他到達(dá)天國之門時(shí)，他要求見上帝。
"God," he said, "I was certain that you would save me, but you let me die.
他說，“上帝，我本以為你會(huì)救我，但你卻讓我死了。
Why? Why did you abandon me?" God replied, "What do you mean? I sent you two boats and a helicopter!"
為什么？你為什么要拋棄我？”上帝回答說：“你這是什么意思？我給你們派了兩艘船和一架直升機(jī)！”
In other words... If you hold out for a gift tied up with a bow, you might miss the present right in front of you.
換言之...如果你堅(jiān)持想要一個(gè)系著蝴蝶結(jié)的禮物，你可能會(huì)錯(cuò)過眼前的禮物。
Nine. A guy takes his date to a dinner at the local country club.
一個(gè)家伙帶著他的約會(huì)對象去當(dāng)?shù)氐泥l(xiāng)村俱樂部吃晚餐。
It's an unusual setup: People have to wait in separate lines for each item on the menu.
這是一個(gè)不同尋常的設(shè)置：人們必須為菜單上的每一項(xiàng)單獨(dú)排隊(duì)等待。
As his date sits down, the guy volunteers to go get their dinner.
當(dāng)他的約會(huì)對象坐下來的時(shí)候，他主動(dòng)去取他們的晚餐。
First he waits in the line for the roast beef. Then he waits in the line for the potatoes.
他先排隊(duì)買烤牛肉。然后他排隊(duì)買土豆。
Then he waits in the vegetable line, the bread line, the salad line, and the gravy line.
然后他分別排隊(duì)去買蔬菜、面包、沙拉和肉汁。
Finally he brings back two heaping plates of food. "Are you thirsty?" he asks his date.
最后，他帶回了兩盤堆積如山的食物。“你渴嗎？”他問他的約會(huì)對象。
"What would you like to drink?" "A glass of punch would be nice," she says.
“你想喝什么？”“一杯潘趣酒就可以。”她說。
So the guy goes to get it. He finds a line for wine, a line for beer, a line for soda, and even a line for milk.
所以他就去取酒。他看到了一條賣紅酒的隊(duì)列，一條賣啤酒的隊(duì)列，一條賣汽水的隊(duì)列，甚至還有一條賣牛奶的隊(duì)列。
After considering all his options, he gives up and returns empty-handed.
在考慮了所有的選擇之后，他放棄了，空手而歸。
In other words... Sometimes there is no punch line. Know when to walk away.
換言之...有時(shí)候你買不到潘趣酒。你要知道什么時(shí)候走開。
