評(píng)論
打印
Our son was upset that his baseball coach yelled whenever he or a teammate made a mistake.
每當(dāng)我們的兒子或他的隊(duì)友犯錯(cuò)時(shí)，他的棒球教練就會(huì)大喊大叫。這讓他很生氣。
"It's just something coaches do," I said. "It's not personal."
我說(shuō)，這就是教練做的事情，這不是針對(duì)個(gè)人的。
His response was hard to argue with: "If it's not personal, then why do they use your name?"
他的回復(fù)令人難以辯駁：“如果不是針對(duì)個(gè)人，那么為什么他會(huì)喊你的名字？”
One day, I was trying to get my seven-year-old's attention. When he finally turned to me,
一天，我想得到我七歲兒子的注意。當(dāng)他最終轉(zhuǎn)向我時(shí)，
I asked, "Didn't you hear me calling you?" He responded, "Not the first two times."
我問(wèn)道，“你沒(méi)有聽(tīng)到我叫你嗎？他回答，“前兩次沒(méi)聽(tīng)見(jiàn)。”
Ad spotted in my weekly bargain bulletin: "FOR SALE: Crestview cemetery plot, $200, so I don't have to spend all eternity beside my ex!"
每周交易公告上的一則廣告：“售賣(mài)：克雷斯特維尤墓地，200美元，這樣我就不必永遠(yuǎn)和我的前任在一起了！”
When my 85-year-old father was in the hospital, his doctor, trying to determine Dad's mental state, asked, "What gets you up in the morning?"
我85歲的父親在醫(yī)院時(shí)，他的醫(yī)生想測(cè)定他的精神狀態(tài)，他問(wèn)道：“是什么讓你早上醒來(lái)的？”
My father shrugged. "Probably the same thing as everyone. I have to go to the bathroom."
我的父親聳聳肩。“也許是和每個(gè)人一樣的事情。我得上廁所了。”
Radio personality and YouTuber Tommy Edison has been blind since birth, 55 years ago. But don't pity him.
電臺(tái)名人和油管用戶湯米·愛(ài)迪生自55年前出生以來(lái)就失明了。但不要同情他。
"There are plenty of good things about being blind," he says. For example:"I go on airplanes first."
他說(shuō)，“作為盲人有很多好的事情。比如說(shuō)，我第一個(gè)上飛機(jī)。”
"I never have to worry about drinking and driving." "I don't have to do my own lawn."
“我從來(lái)不用擔(dān)心喝酒和開(kāi)車(chē)。”“我不需要自己修剪草坪。”
"My electric bill's lower than yours." "Every single woman I've ever been with is a 10."
我的電費(fèi)比你的低。”“和我在一起的每一個(gè)女人都是10分。”
Bedtime storys. We asked readers to share their craziest sleep-talking stories. Some of these might keep you up at night.
床邊故事。我們請(qǐng)讀者分享他們最瘋狂的夢(mèng)話故事。其中一些可能會(huì)讓你夜不能寐。
I dreamed I was rocking a baby to sleep. In the morning, my husband,
我夢(mèng)見(jiàn)我搖著一個(gè)嬰兒睡著了。早上，
who is bald, told me I patted his head for 30 minutes while repeating, "Go to sleep, baby."
我禿頂?shù)恼煞蚋嬖V我，我拍了他的頭30分鐘，然后重復(fù)說(shuō)：“睡覺(jué)吧，寶貝。”
My husband sat up in bed and announced, "Eileen, I believe I can kill about 20 chickens." He then went back to sleep, leaving me wide-awake.
我丈夫從床上坐起來(lái)宣布：“艾琳，我認(rèn)為我能殺死大約20只雞。”然后他又睡著了，讓我完全清醒著。
As a kid, I was at a sleepover, and I watched my friend stuff the bedsheet into her mouth, pull it out, and say, "That was good, Mom; what's for dessert?"
小時(shí)候，我在朋友家過(guò)夜，我看著我的朋友把床單塞進(jìn)她嘴里，然后把它拉出來(lái)，說(shuō)：“太好了，媽媽?zhuān)惶瘘c(diǎn)是什么？”
My husband was tossing and turning in bed, so I asked whether he was all right.
我丈夫在床上輾轉(zhuǎn)反側(cè)，所以我問(wèn)他是否還好。
He replied, "Yes, I talked with the horse, and he didn't have any suggestions or answers for the project."
他回答說(shuō)：“是的，我和馬談過(guò)了，他對(duì)這個(gè)項(xiàng)目沒(méi)有任何建議或答案。”
Turning to me with some urgency, my sleeping husband stated, "I have to do the cat's taxes!"
我睡覺(jué)的丈夫轉(zhuǎn)向我，焦急地說(shuō)道，“我得計(jì)算一下貓的稅！”
Our eight-year-old daughter: "Are you saying that George Washington didn't invent the toilet?"
我們八歲的女兒：“你是說(shuō)喬治·華盛頓沒(méi)有發(fā)明馬桶嗎？”
