評論
打印
This has implications for child rearing.
這對撫養孩子有意義
This has implications, of course, for education. It has implications for society as a whole.
當然，對教育也有意義。對社會整體有意義
This is a topic I am going to talk about a lot. I am going to dedicate much time when we discuss relationships.
這是我即將深入討論的一個話題。我會花很多時間討論情感關系
But just very briefly, this understanding for me transformed, literally transformed my relationship with my wife.
不過先簡要地提提，這個理解改變了，真的改變了我和我妻子的關系
It transformed... It is transforming my relationship with my friends, as well as students and colleagues.
它改變了，它正在改變我和我朋友的關系以及我的學生和同事
You see, we go into a relationship. Most people think that important thing about relationship is that we are validated, as we get pads on our back.
我們卷入一段關系。大多數人覺得情感關系的重要之處在于我們可以得到認可，有人能在背后做支柱
Now that's important in our relationship. Surely important to be validated in any relationship,
這在我們的關系中確實是重要的。得到認可很重要，在任何關系中都是如此，
whether it's with you know students/teacher, whether it's with friends, certainly in romantic relationship.
不管是師生之間，朋友之間，當然也在愛人之間
However, what David Schnarch talks about is that primarily if we want long-term, successful, thriving, passionate relationships,
但是大衛·史納屈想說的是如果我們想要長期的、成功的、健康、有激情的關系
the first objective, the primary objective is to go into relationship to be known.
那首要目標，最基本的目標是通過關系被了解
To be known, rather than to be validated, meaning going in there and saying "OK so how can my partner get to know me even better?"
被了解，而不是得到認可，也就是說，你想著“我的伙伴如何才能更了解我呢”
Doing it gradually of course. On the first date, you don't want to reveal all your secrets.
當然了，要循序漸進。在第一次約會上，你肯定不會想說出所有秘密
Doing it gradually. You know, thinking about it, but opening up more and more.
循序漸進。想著這一點，慢慢地敞開心扉
And couples who over time open up more and more are able to sustain the relationship as well as their passion, over time.
能夠逐漸逐漸敞開心扉的夫婦更能夠維持他們的關系以及激情
And again, I am going to talk about much more... I am going to devote two classes at least to relationships.
我還會就此講得更多……我會用至少兩節課來講情感關系
This is going to be one of the central pillars of successful long-term relationships. Also with the students, the same applies.
這將是成功的長期關系的中流砥柱之一。對于學生，也是一樣適用
