評(píng)論
打印
原味人文風(fēng)情：All right. Congrats again to the newlyweds, and I hope everybody has a full drink because it is time for every wedding speech ever!
好的。再次恭喜這對(duì)新人，也希望大家喝得盡興，因?yàn)榛槎Y致詞的時(shí)間到了!
Hi, everyone. I hope you're all having as much fun as I am tonight. For those of you who do not know me, I am the maid of honor.
嗨，大家好。希望你們今晚和我一樣開心。如果不知道我是誰(shuí)的話，我是伴娘。
I am the groom's brother. He felt obligated to make me the best man even though we are not close at all.
我是新郎的老弟。雖然我們一點(diǎn)兒都不親，但他覺得他有義務(wù)讓我當(dāng)伴郎。
I'm the bride's father. This is the first time I'm seeing my ex-wife since the divorce, so I'm desperately trying to look good.
我是新娘的爸爸。這是我離婚之后第一次見到前妻，所以我努力讓自己看起來(lái)體面些。
I am the groom's mother, and I just wanna say...
我是新郎的媽媽，我想說(shuō) ...
This day is all about Lauren and Casey, except for the next five minutes which will be about me living out my dream of being a stand-up comedian.
今天是屬于勞倫和凱西的日子，但接下來(lái)的五分鐘除外，因?yàn)槲乙獙?shí)現(xiàn)當(dāng)個(gè)人喜劇演員的夢(mèng)想。
I wasn't exactly sure how to convey how much you two mean to me, so I wrote this poem.
我不知道怎么表達(dá)你們倆對(duì)我有多重要，所以寫了這首詩(shī)。
I just spent four days with my brother and his actual friends. It was bad and not fun. Everyone would've preferred if I wasn't there.
我剛跟我哥和他的真朋友混了四天。簡(jiǎn)直糟透了，一點(diǎn)兒都不好玩。所有人都希望我別在那里比較好。
Casey and Lauren, your love is true. Casey and Lauren, I wish only the best for you.
凱西和勞倫，你們的愛是真愛。凱西和勞倫，我祝你們幸福美滿。
The dictionary defines soul mate as "a person who's perfectly suited to another in temperament." And that's just like Casey and Lauren.
字典解釋靈魂伴侶的意思是：“一個(gè)人在性格上與另一人完全合拍。”而這就是凱西和勞倫之間的關(guān)系。
I love my baby.
我愛我的寶貝。
Casey and Lauren, you'll be together forever. Casey and Lauren, seeing your love makes me feel light like a feather. And now, I will continue for 10 more minutes.
凱西和勞倫，你們將會(huì)相伴一生。凱西和勞倫，見證你們的愛讓我開心到覺得輕飄飄的?，F(xiàn)在，我要再繼續(xù)講十分鐘。
I can't wait to take my brother down. I remember this specific sh**ty thing he did to me when we were little that I should be over by now.
我等不及要把我哥哥打倒。我永遠(yuǎn)記得他對(duì)我干的好事，雖然這是我們小時(shí)候的事，而我現(xiàn)在也早該釋懷了。
You're really more like a sister to me than a best friend. Seriously, what am I going to do now that you're married? I am hanging on by a f**king thread right now.
對(duì)我來(lái)說(shuō)，你不僅是最好的閨蜜，甚至更像親姊妹。說(shuō)真的，你結(jié)婚后我要怎么辦？老娘我現(xiàn)在處境艱難。
I've been so happy.
我好高興！
Growing up, Lauren loved the play Annie. Maybe that's why she's always looked at me as her Daddy Warbucks. That's right; I'm gonna keep coming up with unfunny ways to remind everybody that I paid for this wedding.
從小到大，勞倫都很喜歡看《孤女安妮》。也許這就是為什么她總是把我當(dāng)富翁老爹看待的原因。沒錯(cuò)，我要繼續(xù)講這些難笑的話，來(lái)提醒大家這婚禮錢是我出的。
Do you remember what happened at Horseshoe Lake? And who can forget that one time on Bell Tower Hill? I'll keep alienating everyone else by vaguely alluding to things that only the two of us experienced.
還記得我們?cè)隈R蹄湖發(fā)生的事嗎？還有那次鐘樓山上的難忘回憶？我要繼續(xù)用這些模糊不清的詞暗示我們兩人的經(jīng)歷來(lái)排擠在場(chǎng)的其他人。
I think we can eat right now.
我覺得我們可以開動(dòng)了。
Now, I'm gonna raise some red flags. Here's a story about your husband's first girlfriend, who he treated like absolute sh**.
現(xiàn)在我要提出警告。我講個(gè)你老公第一任女友的故事，他對(duì)待那女人簡(jiǎn)直糟透了。
I'm now going to embarrass you in front of your family by hinting at some wild night we had in college at a sex party where we were both trashed and high out of our f**king minds.
我現(xiàn)在要在你家人面前糗你一番，暗示大家我們?cè)谧x大學(xué)時(shí)晚上參加性派對(duì)，結(jié)果喝得爛醉又迷糊到不行。
Oh, oh, here's another story about your husband hating women.
喔喔，我還有另一個(gè)關(guān)于你老公討厭女人的故事。
Here's a joke about how you'll probably get divorced, but I'm not paying for the next wedding.
我來(lái)講個(gè)你可能會(huì)離婚的玩笑話，但我不會(huì)再付下次婚禮的錢了。
I am so excited that I get to be a grandma.
一想到我要當(dāng)奶奶我就好興奮。
Thank you so much for letting me be a part of your love. Wow, I'm just realizing how that was the weirdest way to end this speech.
真的很謝謝你，用愛庇護(hù)我。哇，我現(xiàn)在才發(fā)現(xiàn)用這種方式結(jié)束致詞真怪。
Now, you take care of my little girl. Make sure she stays out of trouble. You're the new man in her life and other statements that sounds nice but are actually super misogynistic.
你要好好照顧我女兒。確保她安全無(wú)虞。你是她人生中新的男人，其他說(shuō)法聽起來(lái)也挺不錯(cuò)，但就是太貶低女人了點(diǎn)兒。
Yeah.
沒錯(cuò)。
