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And it wasn't because of my attending; he was a doll.
而這也不是因為我的主治；他人非常好。
He talked to the family, and I'm quite sure that he smoothed things over and made sure that I didn't get sued.
他和那家人好好的談過。我確定他為了確保我沒有被控告而替我打了圓場。
And I kept asking myself these questions. Why didn't I ask my attending?
但我仍然不斷問我自己這些問題：為什么當時我沒有聯系我的主治？
Why did I send her home? And then at my worst moments: Why did I make such a stupid mistake?
為什么我當時會讓她回家？ 更加沮喪時，我會問： 我為什么會犯下如此愚蠢的錯誤？
Why did I go into medicine? Slowly but surely, it lifted.
為什么我會選擇進入醫學界？慢慢的但穩定地，那糟糕的感覺開始淡化了。
I began to feel a bit better.
我開始覺得緩和了些。
And on a cloudy day, there was a crack in the clouds and the sun started to come out and I wondered, maybe I could feel better again.
然后在一個陰云密布的日子里， 當我看到一束陽光從云隙中探出，我覺得，或許我能再次感覺好起來。
And I made myself a bargain that if only I redouble my efforts to be perfect and never make another mistake again, please make the voices stop.
然后我和自己做了一個約定：如果我加倍努力做到完美，不再犯錯，請就此讓那自責的聲音消去。
And they did. And I went back to work. And then it happened again.
那個聲音的確停止了。我回到了工作崗位。但錯誤又發生了。
Two years later I was an attending in the emergency department at a community hospital just north of Toronto, and I saw a 25 year-old man with a sore throat.
兩年后，當我在一家多倫多北部一間社區醫院的急癥室做主治醫生時，我看了一位喉嚨酸痛的25歲的男人。
It was busy, I was in a bit of a hurry. He kept pointing here.
當時診所很忙，所以我也有些急。他不停的指著這里。
I looked at his throat, it was a little bit pink.
我看了看，他的喉嚨有些紅腫。
And I gave him a prescription for penicillin and sent him on his way.
我給他開了盤尼西林的處方后 便讓他離開了。
And even as he was walking out the door, he was still sort of pointing to his throat.
即便當他走出診所的大門的時候，他似乎還在指著他的喉嚨。
