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Because of these unfair expectations, women find themselves in "damned if they do" and "doomed if they don't" situations.
由于這些不公平的期待，女性發現自己處于“如果做就會煩惱”和“不做注定會更糟”的兩難境地。
This is especially true when it comes to negotiations concerning compensation, benefits, titles, and other perks.
當涉及有關補償金、福利、職位和其他特殊待遇的談判時尤其如此。
By and large, men negotiate more than women.
總的來說，男人談判的結果比女人好。
A study that looked at the starting salaries of students graduating with a master's degree from Carnegie Mellon University found
一項關于對卡內基-梅隆大學碩士畢業生起付薪水的研究發現，
that 57 percent of the male students, but only 7 percent of the female students, tried to negotiate for a higher offer.
57%的男學生試圖和雇主談更高的薪水，而這么做的女生只有7%。
But instead of blaming women for not negotiating more,
我們不是譴責女性不敢去談更高的薪水，
we need to recognize that women often have good cause to be reluctant to advocate for their own interests because doing so can easily backfire.
而是要承認她們在維護自己利益方面如此勉強完全是有正當理由的，因為這么做很容易讓結果事與愿違。
There is little downside when men negotiate for themselves.
對男性而言，為自己的利益去談判并不會產生什么負面影響。
People expect men to advocate on their own behalf, point out their contributions, and be recognized and rewarded for them.
人們已預期到男人會爭取自己的利益，強調自己的貢獻，認為自己應該被認可并獲得回報。
For men, there is truly no harm in asking.
對男性而言，的確是“多問問也無妨”。
But since women are expected to be concerned with others,
但由于人們對女性的預期是關注他人，
when they advocate for themselves or point to their own value, both men and women react unfavorably.
所以當她們維護自己的利益或維護自身價值時，大家對此舉都不會產生好感。
Interestingly, women can negotiate as well as or even more successfully than men when negotiating for others (such as their company or a colleague),
有趣的是，當為別人的利益談判（比如同伴或同事）時，女性和男性表現得一樣好，女性甚至會更好，
because in these cases, their advocacy does not make them appear self-serving.
因為在這種情況下，她們的主張不會讓她們顯得自私自利。
However, when a woman negotiates on her own behalf, she violates the perceived gender norm.
不過，當一個女性為自己爭取利益時，她就違背了公認的性別規范。
