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So imagine you're at a party, and you can't believe that your friend or your spouse
假設你在參加派對，你無法接受你的朋友或者是配偶，
isn't picking up on it that you want to leave early.
竟然沒有注意到你想要早點離開。
And you're thinking, "I gave you the look."
你會想，“我向你使過眼色了。”
With a stranger, we have to start from scratch.
對待陌生人的時候，我們就需要從零開始。
We tell the whole story, we explain who the people are, how we feel about them;
我們要講清前因后果，我們會解釋都有哪些人，以及我們對他們的看法；
we spell out all the inside jokes. And guess what?
我們會解釋清楚笑點在哪里。猜猜結果是什么？
Sometimes they do understand us a little better. OK.
有時候他們確實能更好的理解我們。好的。
So now that we know that talking to strangers matters, how does it work?
現在我們知道與陌生人的交流關系重大，但是為什么會這樣呢？
There are unwritten rules we tend to follow.
我們會遵循一些約定俗成的規矩，
The rules are very different depending on what country you're in, what culture you're in.
這些規矩會因為你所在的國家和文化背景有所差異。
In most parts of the US, the baseline expectation in public
在美國大多數地方，公共交流的底線是
is that we maintain a balance between civility and privacy.
我們要維持禮貌和隱私的平衡。
This is known as civil inattention.
也就是我們說的“禮節性疏忽”。
So, imagine two people are walking towards each other on the street.
想象兩個人在街道上面對面走近。
They'll glance at each other from a distance. That's the civility, the acknowledgment.
他們會遠距離觀察對方。這是禮節，是對他人的認可。
And then as they get closer, they'll look away, to give each other some space.
但是隨著他們走近彼此，他們會移開視線，目的就是給對方一些個人空間。
In other cultures, people go to extraordinary lengths not to interact at all.
在其他文化中，人們會盡力避免跟其他人有任何接觸。
People from Denmark tell me that many Danes are so averse to talking to strangers,
丹麥的朋友告訴我，很多丹麥人不愿意和陌生人講話，
that they would rather miss their stop on the bus than say "excuse me" to someone that they need to get around.
以至于他們寧愿坐過站也不愿意對別人說“接過”，好騰出地方讓自己下車。
Instead, there's this elaborate shuffling of bags
他們只會通過故意移動背包
and using your body to say that you need to get past, instead of using two words.
和肢體語言來告訴別人他們需要借過，而不是用簡單的兩個單詞。
