評論
打印
It's the good feeling I got
這就是那位老人將我
from being saved from the death trap of the storm drain by the old man,
從雨篦子的“死亡陷阱”中“拯救”出來之后，我得到的那種美妙的感覺；
or how I feel like part of a community when I talk to somebody on my train on the way to work.
或者是在我乘火車上班與別人交談時，感覺自己是社群的一份子。
Sometimes it goes further.
有時候還會更進一步。
Researchers have found that people often feel more comfortable
研究表明，人們通常對陌生人
being honest and open about their inner selves with strangers than they do with their friends and their families
敞開心扉相比對家人和朋友要更容易一些
that they often feel more understood by strangers.
人們經(jīng)常覺得更容易被陌生人理解。
This gets reported in the media with great lament.
媒體十分悲觀地報道了這一發(fā)現(xiàn)，
"Strangers communicate better than spouses!" It's a good headline, right?
將其稱作：“陌生人之間的交流要好過配偶之間！”這標(biāo)題很搶眼，不是嗎？
I think it entirely misses the point.
但我覺得他們完全沒有抓住關(guān)鍵點。
The important thing about these studies is just how significant these interactions can be;
研究的核心是陌生人之間的互動有多重要；
how this special form of closeness gives us something we need as much as we need our friends and our families.
這種特殊的親近能夠提供我們所需要的東西，就像我們需要朋友或者家人一樣。
So how is it possible that we communicate so well with strangers?
那么為什么我們和陌生人能交流得如此順暢呢？
There are two reasons. The first one is that it's a quick interaction.
這當(dāng)中有兩個原因。其一在于這是一個快速的互動，
It has no consequences.
并不會涉及到任何后果。
It's easy to be honest with someone you're never going to see again, right? That makes sense.
對以后再也不會見到的人坦誠相見并沒有特別難，對吧？這樣說得通。
The second reason is where it gets more interesting.
第二個理由要有趣得多。
We have a bias when it comes to people we're close to. We expect them to understand us.
我們對親近的人存在偏見。我們期待他們理解我們。
We assume they do, and we expect them to read our minds.
我們默認(rèn)得到了他們的理解，也期待他們會站在我們的角度思考。
