1. I study the biology of personality, and I've come to believe that we've evolved four very broad styles of thinking and behaving, linked with the dopamine, serotonin, testosterone and estrogen systems. So I created a questionnaire directly from brain science to measure the degree to which you express the traits—the constellation of traits—linked with each of these four brain systems. Fourteen million or more people have now taken the questionnaire.
我研究人格生物學，在研究過程中我慢慢相信人類進化了四種非常廣泛的思考和行為方式，它們與多巴胺、血清素、雄激素和雌激素系統息息相關。因此我直接從大腦科學的角度創建了一項調查問卷，衡量人們表達性格特征（分別與這四個大腦系統相關聯的一系列性格特征）的程度。一千四百萬甚至更多的人已經完成了這項調查問卷。
And as it turns out, those who were very expressive of the dopamine system tend to be curious, creative, spontaneous, energetic. They’re drawn to people like themselves. People who are very expressive of the serotonin system tend to be traditional, conventional, they follow the rules, they respect authority, they tend to be religious—religiosity is in the serotonin system—and traditional people go for traditional people. In that way, similarity attracts.
事實證明，那些富有多巴胺系統表現力的人往往是好奇的、有創造性的、隨性的和精力充沛的。他們同時也被和自己相似的人所吸引。而血清素系統的表達者往往是傳統的，他們遵守規則、尊重權威并且通常是宗教信仰者——虔誠的宗教信仰蘊含在血清素系統中——且傳統的人趨向追尋他們的同類。在這兩種情況下，都是因為相似所以吸引。
In the other two cases, opposites attract. People very expressive of the testosterone system tend to be analytical, logical, direct, decisive, and they go for their opposite: they go for somebody who's high estrogen, somebody who's got very good verbal skills and people skills, who's very intuitive and who's very nurturing and emotionally expressive. We have natural patterns of mate choice. Modern technology is not going to change who we choose to love.
而在另外兩種情況下正好相反，都是因為不同所以吸引。雄激素系統的表達者的分析與邏輯性強、直接、果斷，他們追求與他們不同的人：他們追求高雌激素的人，這些人具有很好的語言表達能力和人際交往能力，善于使用直覺、撫育和表達情感?？梢娢覀兊膿衽寄Ｊ绞翘烊粵Q定的。現代科技無法改變我們選擇愛誰。

2. But technology is producing one modern trend that I find particularly important. It's associated with the concept of paradox of choice. For millions of years, we lived in little hunting and gathering groups. You didn't have the opportunity to choose between 1,000 people on a dating site. We can embrace about five to nine alternatives, and after that, you get into what academics call "cognitive overload," and you don't choose any.
但是科技促生出了一個我認為不可小覷的現代趨勢。這與“選擇的悖論”這一概密切相關。曾在數百萬年的時間里,人類都生活在小型的狩獵和采集族群里。那時候可沒有機會在一個約會網站上從1000人之中做出選擇。我們只能接受5到9個選擇，在那以后，我們會進入到一種學者稱之為“認知超載”的狀態，而做不出任何選擇。
So I've come to think that due to this cognitive overload, we're ushering in a new form of courtship that I call "slow love." 67 percent of singles in America today who are living long-term with somebody, have not yet married because they are terrified of divorce. They're terrified of the social, legal, emotional, economic consequences of divorce. Today's singles want to know every single thing about a partner before they wed.
因此我認為，由于這種認知超載，我們進入了一個新的求愛形式，我稱之為“慢愛”。今天在美國67%的單身人士是和伴侶長期同居但還沒有結婚的，因為他們害怕離婚。他們害怕離婚所造成的社會、法律、情感和經濟后果。今天的單身人士想在結婚之前了解有關他們另一半的一切事情。
But the human brain always triumphs, and indeed, in the United States today, 86 percent of Americans will marry by age 49. I did a study of 1,100 married people and I asked them a lot of questions. But one of the questions was, "Would you re-marry the person you're currently married to?" And 81 percent said, "Yes."
盡管如此，人類的大腦總還是會獲得最終的勝利——事實表明，在如今的美國，86%的人都會在49歲之前結婚。我曾對1100位已婚人士做過一項研究，問了他們很多問題。其中一個問題是，“你會再和你現在的伴侶結婚嗎？”，81%的回答是肯定的。
3. I'm not a Pollyanna; there's a great deal to cry about. As William Butler Yeats, the poet, once said, "Love is the crooked thing." I would add, "Nobody gets out alive." We all have problems. But in fact,I think the poet Randall Jarrell really sums it up best. He said, "The dark, uneasy world of family life—where the greatest can fail, and the humblest succeed."
我不是一個盲目樂觀的人，有很多事情讓我悲傷。就像詩人威廉·巴特勒·葉芝說的，“愛情是一條扭曲的路”?！拔疫€要補充一句：“沒有人能活著出來?！拔覀兠總€人都有情感問題。但事實上，我認為詩人蘭德爾·賈雷爾對此做出了最好的總結。他說，“在家庭生活黑暗、不安的世界里，最偉大的也可能失敗，最卑微的也可能成功。”
But I will leave you with this: love and attachment will prevail,technology cannot change it. And I will conclude by saying any understanding of human relationships must take into account one of the most powerful determinants of human behavior: the unquenchable,adaptable and primordial human drive to love.
無論如何我可以告訴你的是：愛和依戀的聯結永遠會占上風，技術無法改變它。作為總結我想說，對任何人際關系的理解都必須將一個最強大的人類行為的決定因素納入考慮，那就是人類不可抗拒、極具適應性且原始的內驅力——去愛。