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Everything You Know about Thanksgiving is WRONG
感恩節其實是個血腥節日？！
And I'm thankful for my kindergarten class who made these wonderful crafts to celebrate Thanksgiving.
我很感謝我在幼稚園的班級做了這些美麗作品來慶祝感恩節。
After the Native Americans helped the Pilgrims survive their first winter in America, the Puritans invited them to share the first Thanksgiving.
印地安人幫助清教徒撐過他們在美國的第一個寒冬后，清教徒邀他們共度首個感恩節。
Aww, these are adorably...wrong.
啊，這些真是...大錯特錯得可愛啊。
A five-year-old made that.
一個五歲小孩寫的。
Based off of the lies that you taught them.
根據你教他們的謊言。
Excuse me?
不好意思？
Oh, it's not your fault! These are full of half-truths and historical propaganda.
噢，這不是你的錯!歷史課本充滿半真半假事實和歷史的宣傳。
I thought the Native Americans and the Pilgrims were, like, besties, or whatever.
我以為印地安人和清教徒就像，好麻吉還是什么的。
At best, the Pilgrims and Wampanoags could be described as "political allies." By the time the Pilgrims showed up, not only were two-thirds of the Massachusetts tribes completely wiped out by European slave owners and diseases, the Pilgrims were constantly at war with the indigenous people and routinely tortured them.
充其量，清教徒和 Wampanoags 族人只能被形容成“政治盟友”。清教徒出現時，不只有三分之二的麻州部落被歐洲奴隸主和疾病完全摧毀，清教徒還不斷和原住民交戰，且經常折磨他們。
But what about Squanto, the Native American who learned English to help out the Pilgrims?
但史廣多呢，那個學英文來幫助清教徒脫困的印地安人？
He was actually a slave that was hauled off to Europe, and then he learned English so that he could escape.
他其實是個被帶去歐洲的奴隸，然后他學英文好讓自己能逃跑。
But they did celebrate it every year, right?
但他們確實每年慶祝感恩節，對吧？
Not exactly. The next one was 16 years later and, unfortunately, it was because the Puritans were celebrating the massacre of the Piqua tribe. Back then, Thanksgiving was also for families—specifically, murdering them.
不完全正確。下一個感恩節是在十六年后，而且不幸地是，那是因為清教徒在慶祝 Piqua 部落大屠殺。那時，感恩節也是和家族有關——特別是去謀殺他們。
Okay! We get it! History's awful, the Puritans were terrible, and now we have to let our children know that the holiday started with tons of killings. Happy?
好!我們懂了!歷史很糟、清教徒很可怕，現在我們得讓我們的孩子了解這節日是從一堆打打殺殺開始的。滿意了嗎？
Well, we actually have just about everything wrong with the Thanksgiving myth. Definitely didn't wear these buckle hats. Didn't land on Plymouth Rock. And as for that turkey...
這個嘛，我們其實幾乎完全搞錯了感恩節的傳說。肯定沒有戴這些鈕扣帽子。沒有在普里茅斯巖登陸。至于那只火雞嘛...
Oh no, not the turkey...
噢不，不要是火雞啊...
More like venison, fowl, and eel.
比較像是吃鹿肉、野禽還有鰻魚。
Oh!!!
噢!!!
Who cares about how this stupid holiday got started anyway?
反正誰在意這蠢節日是怎么開始的啦？
Exactly! In George Washington's 1789 Thanksgiving Proclamation, the settlers aren't mentioned, not even once. Thanksgiving wasn't celebrated nationwide until 1863 when this guy declared it a national holiday during the Civil War in order to bring the country together. That's why all of our foods are from the 19th century.
沒錯!在喬治·華盛頓 1789 年的感恩節宣告里，移民們根本沒被提到，連一次都沒有。感恩節到 1863 年才被舉國慶祝，那時這家伙在內戰期間宣布感恩節成為國定節日，好讓整個國家團結起來。那就是為什么我們所有食物都是來自十九世紀的。
So Lincoln came up with the whole Indian/Pilgrim story?
所以林肯想出整個印地安人和清教徒的故事？
Nope. That myth didn't catch on till the 1900s, after we had fought and killed all the Native Americans. And then we put it in textbooks as fact. Because...America! But...the food is really good. And if you ignore all the terrible history like, you know, the murdering, the raping, the pillaging—still kind of a great holiday. Mmmm!
不。那迷思到二十世紀才流行起來，在我們打擊并殺害所有印地安人后。然后我們才把這故事當作史實放到教科書里。因為...美國嘛!不過...這食物真的很美味。如果你不要理所有可怕的歷史，像是，你知道，謀殺、強暴、掠奪啦－－還算是個滿棒的節日。嗯嗯嗯!
So the Mayflower is a lie?
所以五月花號是個謊言？
Why do we eat cranberry sauce?
我們為什么要吃蔓越莓醬？
What about stuffing?
那火雞餡料呢？
Is Black Friday really just a capitalist conspiracy to get poor people to buy things so we can't truly live out a populous revolt?
黑色星期五是否真的只是資本家的陰謀，讓窮人們去買東西，好讓窮人沒辦法真的執行人數眾多的起義？
I am never telling you the truth ever again.
我永遠不要再告訴你們真相了。
One historical narrative says that the Pilgrims were off firing their guns when the Wampanoag tribe just showed up, presumably to find out why the white folks were shooting up the place, which is a question that we still ask this very day.
一則歷史故事描述，清教徒們正在開槍，在 Wampanoag 族人跑出來那時，他們大概是要看看為什么白人在掃射那地方，這是個我們如今仍在問的問題。
