So I go over there and this guy says
于是我去找到那個人
I said yeah, I want to be a comedian
我跟他說 我想當一名喜劇演員
I said, I've been trying to do it for about a year
我說我嘗試一年了
He said, a year, you're supposed to be if you join the union in three months
他說 一年 入協會三個月就行了
I could find you right now, you could be a violation
我可以馬上破格加你
I said, well, how much does it take to join
我問 加入要多少錢
He said, $300 I said, I don't have $300 and then
他說 300美元 我說 我沒有那么多錢 然后
he said those magic words, how much you got
他說了那些騙子常說的話 那你有多少
You know, I knew I was making a mistake you know you just wanted to believe
我當時就知道 這很有可能是騙局 我只是想給自己一些憧憬
I just knew I was making a mistake, I just wanted to believe
我知道自己錯了 但還是希望這是真的
So I gave him all the money that I have
于是我把所有的錢都給了他
I said, I have $75.
我說 我有75美元
He said, oh, give me that.
他說 好 給我吧
Then he gives me his business card, there writes back on the business card, union man
然后他就給我名片 背面寫有協會成員
He says, you show this card to any club
他說 你可以把它出示給任何俱樂部
I felt like cocoa and fame, remember that movie
我感覺就像名揚四海中的科科 記得那部電影嗎
So I got this card that says union man
我拿著這張寫有協會成員的卡片
and I go back to the nightclub and I handed it to the guy
回到夜總會 給那里的人看
and the guy breaks out laughing and he says we don't hire comedians, get lost
夜總會的人忍不住大笑出來 他說 我們不招喜劇演員 走開
Okay, now I'm stupid and broke
這時 我不僅顯得愚蠢 而且身無分文
I used to drive to New York every single night
我曾每晚都開車去紐約
to try and get out the improv in New York City
嘗試在紐約市找到即興演出機會
At the time, that was the only place that featured unknown comedians
當時 紐約是唯一讓不知名的喜劇演員演出的地方
That drive to New York every night or everyday after class rather
每天下課 我都會驅車去紐約
and I sleep in the alley a couple blocks from the improv
我睡在離即興演出地點一兩個街區遠的小巷子里
It was the only dead end alley around
這是附近唯一的死胡同
So it was pretty quiet until midnight
一直都很安靜 直到午夜
when the prostitutes who bring their customers there
妓女們帶著她們的客人回來
and I'm sleeping, I'm like 50 feet away, I'm going
我就睡在五十英尺外的地方 我心想
really is this show business?
這就是脫口秀表演業嗎
This is what a college degree gets me?
這就是大學文憑給我的嗎
but my saving grace was Emerson College because no matter how awful gives were
不過愛默生學院挽救了我 無論我的境況有多糟