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I'm Stupid!
我真笨！
Stupid people should have to wear signs that just say, "I'm Stupid." That way you wouldn't have to rely on them, would you? You wouldn't ask them anything. It would be like, "Excuse me...oops... never mind, didn't see your sign."It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and there was a big truck in our driveway. My neighbor comes over and says, "Hey, you moving?" "No. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how many boxes it takes." Here's your sign.
笨人本應該可以自我標簽，對所有的人都說“我很笨”。聽到這樣的話，你就不會想依靠他們了，對嗎？你不也會問他們一些事情，就好像你會說：“抱歉，哦……沒事了。”心里會想我忘記他是個笨人了”。這就好比我和妻子之前搬東西一樣。我們的房間里有很多盒子，車道上有輛大卡車。隔壁鄰居常過來問：“嘿，你要搬家嗎？”“不是的，我們只是每周打包一兩次東西，然后看看能有多少個包裹。”這只是個習慣了。”
A couple of months ago I went fishing with a buddy of mine. We pulled his boat into the dock, I lifted up this big old bass and this idiot on the dock goes, "Hey, you all catch all those fish?" "No. Talked them into giving up." Here's your sign.
兩個月前，我和我的一個哥們出門釣魚。我把他的船拖到碼頭，舉起那條大而老的鱸魚在碼頭上走著。“嘿，這些魚都是你釣到的嗎？”“不是，是它們自愿上鉤的。”這樣調侃的說話也是一種習慣。
I was watching one of those animal shows on the Discovery Channel. There was a guy inventing a shark bite suit. And there's only one way to test it. "Alright, Jimmy, you got that shark suit on, it looks good... They want you to jump into this pool of sharks, and you tell us if it hurts when they bite you." "Well, all right, but hold my sign. I don't wanna lose it."
曾看過探索頻道的這樣一個動物表演秀。有個人發明了能經受住鯊魚咬的套裝。有唯一一種可以測試套裝是否結實的方法。“吉米，你穿鯊魚泳衣，看起來真不錯……他們想讓你跳進鯊魚池，當鯊魚咬你的時候告訴我們是否覺得疼痛。“嗯，好吧，但是記住我勇敢的品質。我不想失去它。”
Last time I had a flat tire, I pulled my truck into one of those side-of-the road gas stations. The attendant walks out, looks at my truck, looks at me, and I SWEAR he said, "Tire goes flat?" I couldn't resist. I said, "No. I was driving around and those other three just swelled right up on me. Here's your sign."
上次我的輪胎癟了，我把我的卡車推進馬路邊的加油站。服務員走出來，看著我的卡車，又看著我。我發誓當他說輪胎變平了的時候，我忍不住反駁：“沒有。其他三只輪胎的氣都是足的。”這是愛爭辯的標志。
