評論
打印
Choose the game carefully
仔細選擇游戲
Do not challenge your child at a game he already owns, he will know more about it than you ever will. Instead, take this fight into more comfortable territory. Buy a new game that your child hasn't seen before, and one that is a simulation of something you know how to do in real life, like playing football or driving a car. You'll have enough on your plate without having to learn a whole new set of rules in some make-believe magical kingdom.
不要挑戰你的孩子他已經擁有的游戲,他會比你更熟悉。相反,選個合適的戰場對你異常重要。買一個你的孩子還沒見過的新游戲,最好是一款你知道在現實生活中如何去做的仿真模擬游戲,就像是踢足球或開車。這樣你就會駕輕就熟，而不用在一那些虛構的魔法王國里重新學習理解里面的種種規則。
Late night practice sessions
晚間訓練
When your child is safely tucked up in bed, take advantage of your later bedtime by getting used to the game and the controller. Read the game instructions carefully, you will find there are many more buttons and button combinations to deal with compared to your old Pacman days.
當你的孩子上床睡覺時,利用你的晚睡時間盡快習慣游戲及控制器。仔細閱讀說明書,你會發現有更多的按鈕及各種按鍵組合,這比你以前玩的吃豆人可復雜多了！
Find some cheats
找些作弊要素
Cheats are secret codes placed in the game by its creators that unlock helpful things such as unlimited speed, strength or health. Try searching through gaming magazines or websites to find the boost you'll need to beat your child.
游戲中的金手指是制作者在游戲中放入的秘密代碼，用來解開諸如無限速度、力量及健康等的對玩家有幫助的要素。試著通過瀏覽游戲雜志或網站找到你需要的，這對打敗你的孩子有很大幫助。
A dodgy controller
一個不可靠的控制器
Replace one of your child's existing controllers with a cheap and low quality version, and then make sure that you get the good one when you play the game. You may wish to stick some of the buttons down with some jam, and then blame it on the child. Any sticking buttons or slow response times from the dodgy controller can only help your cause.
把你的孩子現有的控制器換成廉價、低質量的版本,并確保游戲進程中你一直使用好的控制器。你可能想在一些按鈕上蘸些果醬,然后對孩子發牢騷。任何對控制器按鈕蘸果醬或減緩反應時間的小竅門都能幫助你成為借口。
Psych them out
嚇唬他們
Just before you play, put your child off his game by threatening to cut his pocket money, or mention a possible visit by the weird Aunt who gives him the creeps. You will know what will upset your child most easily, so feel free to improvise. Remember, you will need your child flustered and upset to have any chance of victory.
在進行游戲前,通過威脅要減少其零用錢使他分心,或提出有位怪異的阿姨可能來串門使他渾身起雞皮疙瘩。你就會知道擾亂你的孩子是多么容易,只要自由即興發揮即可。記住你將需要你的孩子對獲勝感到不安,心煩意亂。
If all else fails, pause
如果所有的其他方法都失敗了,那試試暫停
There is a good chance that even after all of this, you may still find it a struggle on the day of the game. One final gambit is the pause trick. If you are losing, start to cough loudly, pause the game and order your child to get you a glass of water. Once he has left the room, un-pause the game to rack up an unassailable lead. Pause the game, and when your child returns, swear blind nothing has changed.
即使經過這一切，有一個很好的機會你仍然可以發現它是在當天游戲中最好的一種掙扎。最后一個賭注就是暫停的詭計。如果你失敗,就開始大聲咳嗽,暫停比賽,讓孩子給你倒一杯水。一旦他離開了房間,繼續游戲取得無懈可擊的勝績領先。之后在游戲中再次暫停,當你的孩子返回時,發誓天地良心自己什么也沒做過。
Choose another game
選擇另一個游戲
After being unable to beat your child without cheating, it is vital that you rebuild your shattered ego. Challenge your child to games where you have a distinct advantage, and don't hold back. You will feel a lot better after a crushing Scrabble victory. After you've won, it's up to you and your conscience as to whether you confess your cheating ways, crow mercilessly over them, or simply send them to their room. Well done, you've taught your child a valuable lesson, life isn't fair.
如果不作弊沒有辦法贏你的孩子,對于你來說重建早已破碎的自我至關重要。用你占有明顯優勢的游戲挑戰你的孩子,不要退縮。在壓倒性的勝利后你會感覺好多。如果你贏了,坦白作弊與否全看你自己和你的良心,亦或是以勝利者的姿態嘲笑他們或簡單地送他們回房間。做得好,你已經給您的孩子上了寶貴的一堂課,那就是人生本來就是不公平的。
