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Smell that? That's the smell of new comic books. Oh, yes.
聞到沒？新漫畫書的味道。哦，沒錯。
They're on me today, boys. You're paying? Have you been selling your sperm again?
哥們，今兒個都算我賬上。你付錢？你又賣精子了？
No, I'm celebrating. As we speak, the space shuttle is docking at the International Space Station where it will deploy the Wolowitz Zero-Gravity Waste Disposal System.
不，只是慶祝下。我們說話的當時航天飛機正對接的國際空間站采用了沃勒威茨零重力廢物處理系統。
Get over yourself. It's a high-tech toilet.
少臭美了，不過是高科技廁所。
Just think. Thanks to your hard work, an international crew of astronauts will "boldly go where no man has gone before."
想想吧，多虧了你的付出，飛船的國際宇航員都能大膽去往無人探索的地方。
Is that supposed to be funny?
你這是搞笑嗎？
I believe it is. The combination of the Star Trek reference and the play on words involving the double-meaning of the verb "to go" suggests that Leonard is mocking your efforts in space plumbing.
我想是的。引用星際迷航的話來玩"去"和"沖"的文字游戲表示蘭納德在幽默的嘲笑你對宇航管道裝置所下的良苦用心。
Okay, make your little jokes, but of the four of us, I'm the only one making any real-world contribution to science and technology.
好吧，笑你們的吧，但四個人中只有我對科技做出了實際貢獻。
He's right. This is an important achievement, for two reasons. Number one...and, of course, number two!
他說的對，基于兩點原因，這是一項重大的成果，第一...還有當然了第二！
Oh! Clever! Playing on the use of cardinal numbers as euphemisms for bodily functions.
行啊你！用基數詞做文章來委婉表達人體機能。
Here, Sheldon, I pulled the new Hellboy for you. It's mind-blowing.
謝爾頓，給你新的地獄男孩，絕對大跌眼鏡。
Excuse me. Spoiler alert. I didn't spoil anything.
你咋回事啊，劇透啦。我啥也沒透啊。
You told me it's mind-blowing. So, my mind is going into it pre-blown. And once a mind is pre-blown, it cannot be re-blown.
你都說會大跌眼鏡了，所以我看之前眼鏡就提前跌了，提前跌完就不能再跌了。
I'm Sorry The Grinch to Christmas.
我很抱歉圣誕節的掃興鬼。
Hi, Leonard. Can I talk to you about something? What's up?
嘿，蘭納德，咱談談成嗎？行啊，啥事？
Remember I went out with Penny, a couple weeks ago? Yeah, vaguely.
記得幾周前我和你朋友佩妮約會不？嗯，記不太清了。
Sure you remember. You went to the bar and made a fool of yourself trying to pick up strange women.
記不住才怪，那晚你去酒吧自欺欺人，打算泡陌生美眉。
What about it? -The thing is, the date didn't go that well.
咋了呢？是這樣，約會不太成功。
Too bad. I guess the thing to do now is just pick yourself up, dust yourself off, forget it and move on.
真遺憾。我想現在你該站起來振作一下，忘記此事向前看。
I can't do that. Why the hell not? Cause we're going out again tomorrow.
不行的。有啥不行的吧？因為明晚我們又要約會了。
Excuse me, Stuart. Have you read the new Flash? -No.
打擾下，斯圖爾特。看了最新的閃電俠沒？沒有。我看完了，這期會贊得你下巴都掉下來的。
Well, I have and it will knock your socks off! Good luck getting them back on.
祝你能把它推回去。
Anyway this is probably my last shot with Penny and I don't want to screw it up. -Nobody wants that.
總之這是我和佩妮的最后機會了，我不想搞砸了。誰想搞砸啊。
So, here's my question, It's the second date, you think she'll be expecting things to get physical?
所以我的問題就來了，第二次約會你覺得她會不會想來點...身體接觸？
Gee...My initial reaction is "no," but let me think about it and get back to you.
哎呀...我第一反應是不想，但還是讓我想想吧，回來告訴你。
Ok, So, you'll give me a call? -Yeah, or you call me. Great. -Or nobody calls anyone.
那你打給我？嗯，你打給我也成。好。誰也不給誰打更成。
Interesting. Penny's current suitor asking advice from her former suitor.
有點意思，佩妮的現追求者向前追求者取經。
You know, thanks for closed-captioning my pain, Raj.
謝謝你解說我的痛楚拉什。
Hey, wanna make sure he gets nowhere with Penny without jeopardizing your friendship with either of them?
嘿，想既不讓他和佩妮有進展又不妨礙你和他倆的友情嗎？
I'm listening. -Just tell him to do everything you've done with her for the last two years.
洗耳恭聽。讓他做過去兩年來你和她做的事。
How's it going? Good, good. You? -Fine. Can I ask you something? -Sure.
過得怎么樣？蠻好蠻好，你呢？挺好的。問你點事好不？好呀。
You know your friend Stuart?Yes.-He asked me out again and I said yes, and then I started thinking maybe I should talk to you first. -About what?
記得你朋友斯圖爾特嗎？知道。他又約我出去，我答應了，然后我想似乎應該先問問你的意見。啥意見？
Well, does it bother you, me going out with one of your friends? You know, you and me...
你會介意不，我跟你朋友約會？因為那啥嘛，你和我...
No, that's the past. I'm really more of a "right now" kind of guy. You know, living in the moment.
不會啦，那都老黃歷了，我可是那種更計較現在的人，懂吧，活在當下。
Although I do have to live a little in the future, 'cause that's my job.
雖說我的確需要關注未來，因為我的工作嘛，
Of course, my fondness for classic science fiction does draw my attention backwards, but those stories often take place in the future.
當然啦，我對經典科幻小說的喜愛會把我的焦點拉回一點點。但那些故事常常發生在未來嘛。
In conclusion, no, it doesn't bother me. -Okay, well, that's really cool of you.
總之我不介意。好，你能這樣想真好。
I wouldn't say cool. I'd just say..."That's Leonard!"
不是啥好不好的，要我說是蘭納德就是這種人嘛！
In that case, do you mind giving me some advice? -About Stuart? Love to.
既然醬紫，那你能給點啥建議不？關于斯特爾特的？愿意啊。
He's very shy. How do I make him feel more comfortable around me?
他很害羞，怎么能讓他在我身邊自在點？
First of all, don't underestimate the value of discomfort.
首先不要低估不自在的價值。
Really? -Yes. Stuart thrives under pressure. That's why he works in a comic book store.
真的呀？斯圖爾特在壓力下爆發，所以他在漫畫書店工作嘛。
You're not going to answer it? -He wants to talk about Penny. I don't want to talk about Penny.
你不打算接？－他想談佩妮的事，我不想談佩妮。
You're making an assumption. Perhaps the comic book store is on fire. And he needs your assistance.
你的假設而已啊，或許是漫畫書店著火了呢。他需要你的幫助。
Why would he call me? -We don't know. And if you don't answer the phone, we can't know.
那打給我干啥？不知道呀。你要是不接電話呢，我們怎么會知道。
I'm not answering the phone, Sheldon. Answer the phone, Leonard. -No!
我才不要接電話，謝爾頓。接電話蘭納德！不接！
There, it went to voice mail. -Aren't you going to check your messages?
好啦，轉接語音信箱啦。你不讀你的信息嗎？
No! You have to check your messages, Leonard! The living of a message is one half of a social contract which is completed by the checking of the message.
不要！你必須讀下信息蘭納德，既然留信息那就要讀信息才能實現這一社會契約。
If that contract breaks down, then all social contracts break down and we descend into anarchy.
如果這契約破碎了，那所有社會契約都會破碎，我們會陷入混亂狀態。
It must be hell inside your head. -At times.
你腦子里一定糾結死了吧。偶爾。
Guys, we have a code red. -You mean Code Red the hospital emergency alert, the computer worm, or the cherry-flavored soft drink from the makers of Mountain Dew?
伙計們，我們有緊急情況了。－緊急情況是指醫院緊急警報？電腦病毒？還是馬丁?戴維做的櫻桃味飲料？
Look, I was going over the schematics on my zero-G toilet, and I made a teeny tiny mistake on the specifications for the diverter valve.
聽著，我在看我零重力廁所的圖紙，發現在分流閥的設計上犯了一個小小的錯誤。
How teeny tiny? -It's gonna fail after about ten flushes.
有多小？沖10次水差不多就掛了。
But the mission is for six months. -See, that's the code red.
但這任務是要持續6個月的。對啊，這就是緊急情況。
It's kind of like a jack-in-the-box. No one knows exactly when, but at some point something way worse than a puppet is gonna pop out of that box.
這有點像小丑盒子，沒有人知道具體時間，但不定時的會有比玩偶更糟糕的東西從那盒子里噴出來。
Have you notified NASA? -Are you crazy? What am I gonna say? I screwed up your toilet and there's gonna be crap floating all over your nice shiny space station?
你給NASA報告了嗎？你瘋了嗎？我要怎么說？我把你們的廁所搞砸了，以后會有大便漂浮在你們那整潔明亮的空間站里？
What are you gonna do? I'm gonna figure out how to fix it, then I'll tell them.
你要怎么辦？我要弄清楚怎么修，然后再告訴他們。
So, what do you need us for? -He can't figure out how to fix it.
那你需要我們做什么呢？他弄不清楚怎么修。
You said you were gonna be supportive. I'm trying, but you have to admit this is pretty damn funny.
你說你會支持我的。我是啊，但你得承認這太他媽好笑了。
I agree. It's the juxtaposition of the high-tech nature of space exploration against the banality of a malfunctioning toilet that provides the comic fodder here.
我同意。這關系到太空爆炸的高科技特性和廁所故障的平凡特性的對立，這是個喜劇素材哦。
Check your messages. -All right, this is an exact duplicate of the Wolowitz Zero-Gravity Human Waste Disposal System as deployed on the International Space Station.
快讀你的信息！好的，這就是為國際空間站設計的沃勒威茨零重力人類廢物處理系統的復制品。
Don't you mean the Wolowitz Zero-Gravity Human Waste Distribution System?
你的意思不是沃勒威茨零重力人類廢物排放系統吧？
It's hilarious. Now, Here's an approximation of the spare parts available on the Space Station.
太好笑了。現在，這里有空間站里有可能找到的所有零件。
We gotta find a way, using nothing but this, to reinforce this so the waste material avoids the spinning turbine.
我們要想出一個方法只用這些來改造這個，那樣廢物就能避開旋轉的渦輪機了。
You mean so it doesn't hit the fan?
你是說那樣就碰不到風扇了？
Yeah, I have to say, I thought the toilet humor would get less funny with repetition.
我不得不說，這廁所幽默再說下去就不這么好笑了。
Apparently, there is no law of diminishing comedic returns with space poop.
很顯然，沒有法律規定要減少帶太空大便返回。
