評論
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I know it's not Burberry like we're used to,
我知道這不是我們以前用的高級貨
but I'm telling you, used moving blankets are gonna be in this year.
相信我，搬家包家具的毯子今年將會是時尚尖端
Who's a trendsetter?
創(chuàng)造潮流，非你莫屬啊
We're really lucky November is so warm.
今年到11月還這么暖和，真是幸運
Another thing I'm giving thanks for this Thanksgiving-- global warming.
今年感恩節(jié)我還要感謝一樣東西，就是全球暖化
I think the three remaining polar bears would disagree.
我想僅存的三只北極熊可不同意
Max, it's time to teach me how to bake.
麥克斯，是時候教我烘培了
Okay, well, if we're doing that, first I have to go get baked.
可以，不過要我教你的話，得先等我抽爽了
I'm serious.
我是說真的
It's the beginning of the holiday season,
節(jié)日季開始了
and with all the potential Christmas cupcakes and festive gift baskets,
到時候沒準會需要圣誕小蛋糕和節(jié)日禮品籃
you're gonna need as much help as you can get.
你會需要一個幫手的
Festive holiday gift baskets?
節(jié)日禮品籃
No way.
不要
I'm not into all that crap.
我才不想摻和進這些破玩意兒
Oh, no. Are you gonna be one of those,
別啊，難道你是那種
"I am too cool to believe in the wonders of Christmas" type of bitches?
"我成熟到不再相信圣誕節(jié)的神奇"的賤人嗎
I am so many types of bitches,
我是很多種類型的賤人
I've lost count.
多到我數不過來
And the only wonder of Christmas I'm aware of is...
我唯一注意到的圣誕奇跡是
I wonder how you're gonna keep up that attitude through Christmas this year.
我好奇你這種心態(tài)是否能保持到今年的圣誕節(jié)
Why, because this is my first holiday without any money?
為什么，因為這是我第一次一貧如洗地過節(jié)嗎
Uh, yeah.
正是如此
Money isn't what makes the holidays special, Max.
節(jié)日的特別不是靠錢堆砌出來的，麥克斯
Uh, yeah.
正是如此
The holidays are totally about money.
節(jié)日完全是靠錢堆砌出來的
It's about spending money to buy things to stuff into the giant black sucking hole
花錢買東西來塞進我們心中那個深不見底的黑洞，
in the center of each of us that reminds us life is hard and then we die.
以此來提醒我們在死之前，日子都不會好過
And that's my Christmas card.
這就是我圣誕卡的祝語
Max, I'm aware this holiday season will be challenging,
麥克斯，我知道這個節(jié)日季節(jié)會不好過
will I miss my 20-foot Christmas tree decorated by ten gay men? Yes.
我會想念我們家由十位男同精心布置的高達二十英尺的圣誕樹嗎，會
Will I miss those ten gay men outing my cousin Steven before he was ready? No.
我會想念十位男同在我表弟斯蒂芬做好心里準備前就逼他出柜嗎，不會
My holiday spirit is bigger than my money.
我的節(jié)日精神更勝我的錢
So come on, teach me how to bake.
所以拜托，教我烘培吧
We only have a couple weeks.
我們只剩兩周時間了
Fine. Pour a cup of milk into the mixer.
好，倒一杯牛奶進攪拌器
This will be fun.
這肯定會很好玩
When I was little, I used to make my father cakes in my easy-bake oven.
當我還小，我常常用我的兒童簡易烤箱做蛋糕給我爸爸吃
My easy-bake oven was repossessed.
我的兒童烤箱被人沒收了
So, um, speaking of your father, are you doing okay?
既然說到你爸，你還好吧
I mean, this is a hard time of year for people who have feelings, and just...
我是說，每年的這個時候人們最容易胡思亂想了，而且...
With your father in prison, how are you doing?
你爸還在監(jiān)獄，你真的沒事嗎
I'm doing great.
我沒事
I actually just found out that since it's Thanksgiving,
其實我剛發(fā)現正因為是感恩節(jié)
they're allowing me to come see him for the first time.
他們準許我第一次去看他
Well, that excitement will probably taper off after the full-body cavity search.
那股興奮勁兒很快就會隨全身洞口搜查而逐漸變弱
I don't know. I might like it.
不知道，或許我會喜歡呢
It's been a while since I've had any cavities searched.
很久沒人給我做"洞口"搜查了
All right, pour the milk, slut.
好啦，倒牛奶吧，小騷貨
One cup milk.
一杯牛奶
There, how's that? Good.
搞定，怎么樣？不錯
Now into the mixer.
放進攪拌器
There, how was that?
搞定，怎么樣
Uh-uh. We're not playing "Rich girl gets a trophy every time she does something normal"
我們又不是在玩"富家女每做一件正常事就贏一座獎杯"的游戲
Just cover the bowl with the towel so it doesn't splash out, and turn it on.
用布把碗蓋起來，這樣就不會濺出來，然后打開開關
Oh, it's not plugged in.
電源忘插了
Right.
收到
No, not without the towel!
不，別把毛巾拿開
Christmas comes but once a year, and I think it just did.
一年一度的圣誕節(jié)剛剛大駕光臨了
