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Han, that toast is trendy foodie food. It'll die here, like my soul did.
阿憨，那個吐司是潮流美食。在這里只會死去，就像我的靈魂。
Our customers are just plain, normal people.
我們的顧客都只是平凡的普通人罷了。
Hey, everybody! And sophie. Guess what? 78 guys want me on Tinder. Oh, 79! Now it's 80!
大家好！以及蘇菲。你們猜怎么著？陌陌上有78個男的想約我。79個了！現在80個了！
How long have you been on Tinder?
你玩陌陌多久了啊？
Ten minutes!
十分鐘！
Oh, look, oh, my gosh! This guy's a plumber. Are you kidding me?
看呀，我的老天爺！這男的是猛男水管工，不是騙我吧？
Yes, that's a match! And this guy isn't even wearing a shirt! That's another big yes!
當然好，約！而這家伙還裸上身呢！確定一定以及肯定約！
Oh, gosh, girls, I'll be over here, looking at boys in my booth.
天啊，姑娘們，我會在這里，在我的卡座里挑男寵。
Hey, I know a girl who met her husband on tinder.
我就認識一個女的在陌陌上認識她老公的。
No, wait, she saw her husband on tinder.
等等，不，她是在陌陌上抓到她老公。
Hey, are wheelchairs sexy?
坐輪椅的有輪椅誘惑嗎？
I guess it depends on who's in one.
看看是誰坐在上面吧。
I say no.
不約。
Hold the presses.
各位觀眾稍安勿躁。
I just got a new tweet from my gal, Kim Kardashian.
我的好姐妹發了條新推特啦，金·卡戴珊。
Oh, she just bought her some new boots in Manhattan.
她在曼哈頓買了雙新靴子。
Kim Kardashian is epic. She was on the cover of Vogue. She's on fire.
金·卡戴珊超屌。她還上了《時尚》雜志的封面，超火。
So? I've been on fire. That's the last time I try witchcraft for the free snacks.
那又怎樣？我也超火過啊。我上次用巫術來弄免費零食時，被人當女巫燒。
I love the Kardashians. They're like the Kennedys but with bigger asses.
我好愛卡戴珊家族的人。她們就像是有大屁股的肯尼迪家族。
Text me next time. This whole talking thing is insane.
下次用短信聯系我。講話這事太傻逼了。
Hi! Who would I talk to about finding the owner of Max's Homemade Cupcakes?
你們好！如果我想找麥克斯自制小蛋糕店的老板，請問我該找哪位呢？
That's Max. I'm Caroline. We're the owners of this store.
她是麥克斯，我叫卡洛琳。我們共同擁有這家店。
And about four pairs of socks.
我們還擁有大概四雙襪子。
Great. Wonderful. Such a cute shop. Would you be interested in having a popular...
太好了，真棒，這家店超有愛。你們有興趣參加一檔出名的...
Yes.
好。
I didn't finish my sentence.
我都還沒說完呢。
Sorry, I just haven't heard the word "popular" in so long.
抱歉，我太久沒聽到"出名"這個詞了。
Oh, yeah, she's over. She's the Blockbuster video of people.
是啊，她過氣了。她就像過氣倒光的百事達一樣。
Would you be interested in having a popular reality show filmed here?
那你們有興趣讓一檔出名的真人秀在這里拍攝嗎？
