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That's it for tonight. Time to count the tip jar. Hand condom.
收工時間到啦。可以來數小費罐了。請為我套上手部避孕套。
I can't believe you. Using protection is so five years ago.
我真服了你。現在這個年代不流行戴套啦。
This is Williamsburg. There's a good chance even the dollars have herpes.
這里是威廉斯堡。鈔票都很可能染有皰疹。
Well, if those singles have herpes, they should just lie about it till they get married like everybody else does.
如果這些小婊鈔票有皰疹，她們就該跟那些單身婊一樣，撒謊裝沒病直到騙到婚為止啊。
Oh, good, you're still open.
太好了，你們還沒關門。
Oh, yes, we are. What can I get you?
是的，請問您想要什么？
Everything in the register.
收銀臺里的東西全交出來。
Oh, my God. It's a hipster hold-up.
媽呀，嬉皮士來搶劫了。
Hand it over. I have a gun.
快照我說的做，我有槍。
Well, I have a death wish so that's not gonna work.
我還想死呢，所以你想都別想。
Look, pal, we work at this cupcake window 2:00 to 4:00, six nights a week, and that is after eight hours of slinging hash at the diner next door for lousy minimum wage, which a bunch of rich politicians out in- - help me out. - Washington.
聽好了，我們每晚二到四點在這賣小蛋糕，一周賣六天，而且是在拿著基本工資的隔壁破餐廳做完八小時的服務員后才來賣的，就因為一幫在...-幫我接。-首都華盛頓。
What she said don't wanna raise.
有錢的死政客不愿提高基本工資。
Then, we walk home to our illegal one bedroom apartment, get three hours of Nyquil induced sleep before we have to get back up and share a bowl of Spanish language cheerios.
下班后我們走回我們非法的一臥室公寓中，靠喝了犯困的感冒糖漿睡三小時，然后就得起床，兩人再一起分享一碗西班牙名的雜牌早餐"賣圈"。
It's the same thing but the "C" wears a sombrero.
跟美國"麥圈"差不多，就字樣戴了墨西哥帽。
So, no, I am not about to give you our hard-earned money.
所以不行，我才不會給你我們的血汗錢。
And if you're gonna shoot me, better aim good.
如果你要開槍打我，最好瞄準點。
'cause if you miss, I will climb over this counter, tear off your head, and it'll be our new tip jar.
因為如果你沒打死我，我會爬過這個收銀臺，扒開你個死人頭，用你的腦袋當新的小費罐。
Yeah, I just robbed Pizza Pizza. Here's a $20. Have a good night.
我剛搶完披薩店。這20塊你拿去。祝你們今晚愉快。
I have a way with people.
我有特殊的打交道技巧。
Look, I just saw that our cupcake competition, "Brooklyn Bitty Bites," went out of business.
我剛發現我們小蛋糕店的競爭對手--"布魯克林咬一口"關門大吉了呢。
Yup, it's being changed into a medical marijuana store.
沒錯，現在改成醫用大麻店了。
I already have my hole-punch card.
我已經整了一張積點卡。
