Blair: Look, I think I figured it out. Okay, Serena had an affair with her teacher because, let's face it, it's Serena and what else is there to do in Connecticut. Then she came to her senses and discarded him like last season's Chanel booties. Then he became a crazy stalker and Serena pressed charges. That should be a warning to you, Humphrey.

Dan: Yeah, because the parallels are striking.

Blair: Serena, I have to tell you something. I've never been on a date.

Serena: What about Chuck, and Nate? And Chuck? And then Nate again?

Blair: Dorota, I need answers that don't end in, 'And then I came to America!'