Jason: Mike!! Hey Mike!!
Carol: Dad, every Saturday you come out here and yell for Mike to come out and wash the car and you end up washing it yourself. Obviously yelling is a waste of time.
Jason: Fine, you wash the car.
Carol: Mike!!! Mike!!!!
Luke: Is something wrong??
Jason: Just trying to get Mike to wash the car.
Luke: I'll do it.
Carol: Oh well, there, that's resolved.
Jason: No No, Mike should do it, it's a big job.
Luke: Not for me, I use to wash airplanes for barnstormers, I grew up next to an airfield.
Jason: Barnstormers in Manhattan?
Luke: South Dakota, the golden eagles. I remember one time for my birthday, they took me up with them and spun me around until I lost my lunch. God I love those guys.
Jason: No wonder the planes needed so much washing. No Luke listen, put that down this is Mike's job, he will do it, it's been Mike's job for 11 years and I want to live long enough just to see him do it once. Mike!!! Mike!!!
Mike: Hey Luke! Hey hey hey!! What the heck are you doing!!??
Luke: I'm washing your dad's car.
Mike: No Luke, you don't have to do chores, just cause my dad asks you to.
Luke: Well he didn't ask me, I just volunteered.
Mike: You volunteered!!?? Luke, no no no. Yes maybe that's the way you do it on the streets, but this is suburbia nobody does anything for anybody.
Luke: Well he was upset, he was yelling!
Mike: Yelling is nothing! Believe me, you don't have to worry about my dad until his nostrils flare and that view over his left eye brow starts to throb, after that he makes Freddy Kruger look like a guy with press on nails.
Jason: This is really reprehensible, this is your job, this is your guest and that is… Holy smokes!! We got White one.
Mike: You want me to take over dad?
Jason: No!
Maggie: No kidding you use to work on a dude ranch?
Luke: When you cook for 68 burly men with lassos you learn to watch your biscuits.
Maggie: That's funny I could have sworn there was a bottle of wine in there. Oh Jason must have finished it. It's ok there's plenty more.
Luke: Wow, that's a lot of wine.
Maggie: Yeah, Jason started collecting, he really likes his wine.

Chrissy: Yo! Luke, I want to introduce you to a friend. Barbie!
Luke: Well, pleased to meet you Barbie, does she have a last name?
Chrissy: Doll! She wants to invite you over to her dream house for tea.
Luke: Well, I never turn donw an invitation from a beautiful woman.
Chrissy: She's got a boyfriend. But I can stuff them into drawer.
Jason: Hey Mike I had a folder in there of confidential applications for Luke's foster family, have you seen it?
Mike: Uhh..no... I haven't seen it dad I don't know anything about it. I was just sitting here watching the game on TV.
Jason: Wouldn't it be better if the se were on?
Mike: Uh no. The game was blacked out.
Jason: Folder.
Mike: Ok, but dad just for the record, I didn't look at a thing, but forget about that couple from Brooklyn. I don't want Luke being raised by people who drag their knuckles on the ground.
Jason: Mike.
Mike: Dad, I'm sorry but Luke's just had a tough life and I want to make sure he's around people that are about him.
Jason: I know that.
Mike: In a good neigbourhood with a good school and room of his own, private entrance and satellite dish.
Jason: Silly me, all this time I've been looking for a stable loving family with high morale character, when I should have been looking for someone with a video arcade and a weight room.
Mike: Now you're talking.
Carol: Thanks for letting me do my laundry here mom. The laundry room in the dorm has become a real meat market pick up place.
Maggie: How does anyone get their wash done?
Carol: Don't ask me, I'm still on the waiting list!
Maggie: Uhh... Sweetheart will you take out the trash?
Chrissy: No problem!
Jason: Hey anybody seen Luke? That station wagon is kind of looking grungy.
Maggie: He went out with Mike to check out neighbourhoods for foster homes. I odn't know where they went but Mike said something about knuckles dragging.
Jason: Oh, Brooklyn. Got to hand it to Mike though, he's really serious about finding Luke a good home.
Maggie: Well I know ever since he brought Luke here, he's been mature, responsible, caring.
Jason: Kind of gives you the creeps doesn't it?
Maggie: You know this is too much, I know I put a bottle of wine in there.
Jason: There's more in the cabinet.
Maggie: Wanna bet?
Jason: That's impossible, the last time I looked there were fifteen bottles in there.
Chrissy: People, people, people. How many times do I have to tell you about recycling?
Maggie: In a minute honey.
Chrissy: Mom, look somebody put glass into regular garbage.
Maggie: Jason, the wine bottles.
Jason: Who could have?
Maggie: Oh my god!
Jason: I can't believe it.
Maggie: Me neither, it's incredible.
Chrissy: Hey get a grip, there just bottles. I'll sort them myself.
Maggie: You do that honey.
Jason: Well let's not jump to any conclusions here, we don't know for sure that it was Luke.
Carol: Luke!!? He couldn't have done it.
Maggie: I agree, he's a responsible kid. After all he spent his entire childhood cooking for a dude ranch.
Jason: No he didn't. He spent his childhood hanging out with barnstormers.
Maggie: Barnstormers?
Jason: The Golden Eagles. They use to make him throw up, he loved those guys.
Carol: Will you two listen to yourselves? Barnstormers!?? Dude Ranch!?? I mean how gullible can you be?
Maggie: I suppose you know the real story.
Carol: Yes, he grew up on a plantation in Jamaica with big guys and coconuts. That lying pig dog stole your wine.
Ben: This is it, Luke said nothing could go wrong as long as I stayed calm. Ok pick up a ticket stub without drawing attention to yourself. Ok theatre 5, you're home free.

Guard: Hold it there you little nose wipe.
Ben: Red alert, damage control, show him the stub. Show him the stub! Uhh excuse me sir, umm I just came out of theatre 5 and I left my wallet in there.
Guard: Your wallet!??
Ben: Yeah it must have slipped out of my pocket when I stood up to let those nuns take their seats.
Guard: There were nuns watching "When Stewardesses go Bad"!!?
Ben: Well they left early. If you just let me go in, I'll grab my wallet and I'll be out of there before the next show at 3:15.
Guard: Ok, but go straight in and come straight out.
Ben: Yes sir, thank you sir. Touch down. Now go directly into the theatre stopping for nothing.
Guard: Found your wallet I see?
Ben: Uhh Yeah.. Well this is just my regular wallet, that was my lucky wallet.
Guard: Oh….
Ben: Good thinking, he's buying it.
Mike: Mom, Dad, Just for the record everyone in Brooklyn walked upright.
Luke: There was even this great park and look at what Mike bought me?
Mike: Ok guys, check this out, Luke throw it to dad.
Mike: Can you believe that dad?? Before this morning he never threw a spiral in his life. Dan Marino watch out!
Jason: Alright that's good. Luke why don't you go upstairs and wash for dinner ok??
Luke: Sure, Doctor Seaver.
Mike: See ya. Aww…Is he a great kid or what huh dad?
Jason: Yeah Yeah, but umm something's happened with Luke and we don't think we will be able to find him a foster home.
Mike: What!!?
Maggie: And we don't think he should stay in our home either.
Mike: What are you guys talking about!??
Maggie: Well we found a lot of empty wine bottles in the trash and we know neither of us drank them.
Mike: You don't think Luke drank them!?
Jason: He needs more help then we can give him, he should be in an alcohol treatment program.
Maggie: And we have to think about Ben and Chrissy. Like her or not, Luke will influence on them.
Mike: I'm sorry, I'm not bet this, I mean Luke, if Luke try alcohol, he would be plastered all the time. Have you ever seen him drunk?? Or even hung over!!?
Maggie: Well no.
Mike: Well neither have I. Have you ever smelled alcohol in his breath?
Jason: No, but uhh umm... Look I don't have all the answers either Mike.
Mike: Show me one kid in this family that he's had a bad influence on.
Man: This nose wipe claims to live here. We caught him sneaking into the Masapika Multiplex.
Maggie: Ben Seaver where did you get an idea like that?
Ben: Nothing can make me talk.
Maggie: Young man!
Ben: It was Luke.
Jason: It's alright we will take it from here, your majesty.
Mike: Hey Luke, what are you doing?
Luke: Oh, packing, I got the picture that my lease was up so I'm taking 2 pairs of socks and 1 pair of underwear. Mind if I keep the football?
Jason: Luke we have to clear something up.
Luke: Fine, I'll leave the football.
Jason: No that's not it, we found some empty wine bottles in the trash.
Luke: So?
Maggie: Luke we want to help, we know you're drinking.
Luke: Me!!?? I wouldn't touch that poison!!
Maggie: I'd like to believe you but between barstorming and biscuits. How are we suppose ot know when you're telling the truth?
Luke: Doesn't matter what I say, you guys have your minds all made up.
Mike: Not all of us, alright you just tell me you didn't take that wine and I'll believe you. Luke tell me.
Luke: I'm out of here.
Mike: Oh, Luke.
Jason: Wait a second, You need help, there are programs for teens who drink.
Luke: So go find a teen who drinks.
Mike: Luke, don't you know how bad that stuff is for you!!? Do you have any idea what alcohol does to your internal organs!?? You liver, your heart and whatever else is in there. Come on man, don't you know that booze can kill you!!??
Luke: Leave me alone, you can't tell me anything about booze I don't know. It makes you stupid, it makes you sick, it makes you forget, makes you hate people, makes you afraid to come home at night.
Jason: What!!?
Luke: Makes you afraid to ask a question or make a noise. Get a glass of water, do anything will make a man mad when he's drunk.
Mike: Who's drunk!!? Nobody here is drunk.
Jason: No, he's not talking about us Mike, are you Luke hmm? Who gets drunk? Your father?
Luke: He left when I was 2.
Jason: Who are you afraid of when they drink?
Luke: My step father, I liked him at first, he as fine when he was sober, like you. He even bought me an ice cream once. But boy when he had a few belts in him, he was a different guy. Mean, anything would set him off.
Jason: Did he beat you?
Luke: Yeah, mom tried to stop him, but he beat her too. After she died, he started drinking all the time. He didn't care how much he hurt me, one night he came after me with a baseball bat. If I hadn't run, he would have killed me.
Maggie: Oh my god!
Luke: I tell you it's the liquor that does it to him, it does it to everybody, its poison!!
Jason: You didn't want that to happen again did you?
Luke: No!!
Jason: You took our wine?
Luke: YES!!
Jason: But you didn't drink it??
Luke: I poured it down the drain!!! Every damn drop of it!!!
Jason: Cause you didn't want anyone to get hurt like you got hurt.
Maggie: It's alright, everything going to be alright.
Mike: So Luke Thought.
Jason: Thought that drinking would turn me into his step father.
Mike: Oh hey Luke, it's gonna be alright buddy. My dad has a glass of wine every now and then but he never loses control.
Luke: Why'd you say when he was mad, he was worse than Freddy Kruger!??
Mike: Uhhh, I was kidding, no he never hurt anybody.
Jason: You might find this hard to believe but there are places you will be safe you know? Here for instance.
Luke: You mean you aren't kicking me out!!?
Maggie: You can stay with us for as long as it takes to find a good home but we need to trust each other ok?
Luke: Ok.
Jason: No more lies about barnstormers and coconuts.
Maggie: Right, you don't need to tell stories in this house to be liked.
Ben: Mom, Dad, I want to come clean with the truth. I was taken hostage by a group of space aliens, they said if I didn't help them sneak into the movies, they would blow up Long Island.