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According to Arnold Schwarzenegger's autobiography, Total Recall, after he committed adultery with his housekeeper, he denied to his wife Maria Shriver that the child was his -- because he "didn't know" he was the father. Having both lied and cheated, there's little room for doubt that Arnold had wronged his wife.
斯瓦辛格在自傳中回憶道“當(dāng)他和和自己的女管家發(fā)生關(guān)系并另其懷孕以后，他在自己的妻子面前抵賴自己不是孩子他爸——因為他“什么都不知道”。阿諾的出軌并撒謊毫無疑問深深地傷害了妻子。
When, years later, Maria confronted him in the therapist's office with concerns that the governess's child looked an awful lot like him, his tactic was to finally reveal the truth. Then he offered an apology: "I told her how sorry I felt about it, how wrong it was, and that it was my fault. I just unloaded everything."
幾年以后，妻子和阿諾在婚姻治療師的辦公室里再次面對往事，妻子提出女管家的孩子與阿諾極像時，阿諾終于承認(rèn)自己做過的荒唐事，然后向妻子道歉：“我告訴她我有多后悔做下這樣的事，我承認(rèn)自己的錯誤，之后我感覺到自己終于輕松了。”
Arnold's case, while headline grabbing, is not unique. When couples struggle with the complications of infidelity, there's a lot of work to be done; part of that work involves owning up to an affair and offering an apology. And an apology isn't easy; it is a complex form of communication.
阿諾的這個丑聞絕對是新聞頭條，然而這卻是很多人生活里面容易犯的錯。當(dāng)婚姻被婚外情所困擾時，我們需要做很多來讓婚姻重回正軌。承認(rèn)出軌和道歉是必須要做的兩件事。這個時候的道歉就不是一件簡單的事了，這個道歉將成為你和愛人間復(fù)雜的溝通。
In order for an apology to be an effective means of communication, it must include five steps. These steps don't apply just to affairs or infidelity. They are necessary to mend any kind of perceived wrongdoing.
想讓這個道歉管用，下面這五步一定要掌握，當(dāng)讓這五步不僅僅適合那些已經(jīng)有婚外情的人，也適合那些在犯了錯卻要向修補愛情的人。
