評(píng)論
打印
I drop my face in my hands for a longer and even sadder time. Finally I look up, only to see that one of the Albanian women who work at the Internet café has paused from her nightshift mopping of the floor to lean against the wall and watch me. We hold our tired gazes on each other for a moment. Then I give her a grim shake of my head and say aloud, "This blows ass." She nods sympathetically. She doesn't understand, but of course, in her way, she understands completely.
我把頭埋在手中，持續(xù)一段更長(zhǎng)、更悲傷的時(shí)間。終于抬起頭來(lái)的時(shí)候，我看見(jiàn)在網(wǎng)吧工作的一名阿爾巴尼亞婦女，停下手邊的夜班拖地工作，靠在墻上看著我。我們疲倦的眼神望著彼此一會(huì)兒，然后我對(duì)她鄭重?fù)u搖頭，大聲說(shuō)：“倒胃口！”她同情地點(diǎn)點(diǎn)頭。即使她聽(tīng)不懂，卻以她自己的方式完全明白。
My cell phone rings.
我的手機(jī)響了。
It's Giovanni. He sounds confused. He says he's been waiting for me for over an hour in the Piazza Fiume, which is where we always meet on Thursday nights for language exchange. He's bewildered, because normally he's the one who's late or who forgets to show up for our appointments, but he got there right on time tonight for once and he was pretty sure—didn't we have a date?
是喬凡尼。他聽(tīng)起來(lái)很困惑。他說(shuō)已在河流廣場(chǎng)（Piazza Fiume）等了我一個(gè)多小時(shí)，那是我們每周四晚間會(huì)面做語(yǔ)言交流的地方。他感到迷惘，因?yàn)橥ǔ＿t到或忘記赴約的人總是他。可是今晚他一反平常，準(zhǔn)時(shí)到達(dá)那里，而且他十分肯定——我們不是有約嗎？
I'd forgotten. I tell him where I am. He says he'll come pick me up in his car. I'm not in the mood for seeing anybody, but it's too hard to explain this over the telefonino, given our limited language skills. I go wait outside in the cold for him. A few minutes later, his little red car pulls up and I climb in. He asks me in slangy Italian what's up. I open my mouth to answer and collapse into tears. I mean—wailing. I mean—that terrible, ragged breed of bawling my friend Sally calls "double-pumpin' it," when you have to inhale two desperate gasps of oxygen with every sob. I never even saw this griefquake coming, got totally blindsided by it.
我忘記我們有約。我跟他說(shuō)我在何處。他說(shuō)他會(huì)開(kāi)車過(guò)來(lái)接我。我沒(méi)心情見(jiàn)任何人，但透過(guò)“迷你電話”很難說(shuō)明，鑒于我們有限的語(yǔ)言能力。我在寒冷的戶外等候他。幾分鐘過(guò)后，他的紅色小車停了下來(lái)，我爬進(jìn)車?yán)铩Ｋ靡獯罄嫡Z(yǔ)問(wèn)我怎么回事。我張嘴回答卻潸然淚下。我是說(shuō)——嚎啕大哭。我是說(shuō)，如我朋友莎莉所謂“雙重抽吸”的可怕哀號(hào)——在你每次啜泣之時(shí)，都得使勁兒吸兩口氧氣。我在全然毫無(wú)防備的情況下，從未見(jiàn)識(shí)過(guò)這驚天動(dòng)地的悲痛乍然來(lái)臨。
Poor Giovanni! He asks in halting English if he did something wrong. Am I mad at him, maybe? Did he hurt my feelings? I can't answer, but only shake my head and keep howling. I'm so mortified with myself and so sorry for dear Giovanni, trapped here in this car with this sobbing, incoherent old woman who is totally a pezzi—in pieces.
可憐的喬凡尼！他用結(jié)結(jié)巴巴的英語(yǔ)問(wèn)我他是否做錯(cuò)了什么事。我在生他的氣嗎？他是否傷了我的感情？我回答不了，只能搖搖頭，繼續(xù)嚎哭。我對(duì)自己感到懊惱，對(duì)親愛(ài)的喬凡尼深感抱歉，他和我這個(gè)啜泣、神智不清、完全粉身碎骨的老女人被困在這輛車?yán)铩?/p>
I finally manage to rasp out an assurance that my distress has nothing to do with him. I choke forth an apology for being such a mess. Giovanni takes charge of the situation in a manner far beyond his years. He says, "Do not apologize for crying. Without this emotion, we are only robots." He gives me some tissues from a box in the back of the car. He says, "Let's drive."
最后我以粗嘎的嗓門(mén)一再表示，我的悲痛與他無(wú)關(guān)。我為自己的失態(tài)哽咽著向他致歉。喬凡尼以遠(yuǎn)超過(guò)自己年紀(jì)的態(tài)度控制住場(chǎng)面。他說(shuō)：“別因?yàn)榭奁狼浮Ｈ魶](méi)有這樣的情緒，我們就只是機(jī)器人罷了。”他從后座的面紙盒里拿了幾張面紙給我。 他說(shuō)：“我們開(kāi)車吧。”
