
And at an even more practical level, every day I choose not only how I will live, but if I will live. I have no particular religious mandate that forbids contemplating a shorter life, an action that would deny this disease its ultimate expression. But this is where my belief in choice truly finds its power. I can choose to see ALS as nothing more than a death sentence or I can choose to see it as an invitation – an opportunity to learn who I truly am.
而且有時間的話,我每天的選擇的不僅僅是我將如何生活,而是我是否要活下去。我沒有任何的宗教禁忌阻止我思考是否可以提早結束我的生命,這個選擇可以使我不必辛苦的撐到病情發展的最后一刻。就在這時,我一直堅信的選擇真的起到了十分重要的作用。我可以選擇把肌萎縮性側索硬化癥僅僅看作是一個死亡的宣判,我也可以選擇將他看作是一個邀請-一個真正認識我自己的機會。
Even people in the witness protection program must take with them fundamental aspects of themselves which can never change. What are these aspects for me? This is what I learn every day, and so far I have discovered many unique things, but one stands out above the rest. I have discovered in myself an ability to recognize, give, and receive caring in a way far deeper than anything in my life previously. Others have seen this in me as well.
即使是每個在證人保護制度下生活的人也都會帶著一些他們永不改變的特制。什么東西對我來說是永不改變的呢?這就是我每天學習的東西,到目前為止我已經發現了許多奇特的事情,但最與眾不同的事情是我發現自己較之以往更能認識,給予和接受關懷。其他的人也發現我在這方面改變了許多。
I, who have always been an intensely private and independent person, have allowed a wide circle of family and friends into the most intimate parts of my life. Previously, I would have found such a prospect appalling. I might have felt I had no choice but to embrace the assumption that living with ALS means a life of hardship and isolation. Instead, because I believe that I always have a choice, I opened myself to other possibilities. And now the very thing that at first seemed so abhorrent has graced my life with unaccustomed sweetness. It was always there. Only now I have chosen to see it. This sweetness underscores and celebrates my belief that I always have a choice.
我以前是一個獨來獨往,過著十分獨立生活的人,更多親密的親人和朋友進入我個人最私密的生活圈子會讓我感到害怕,得了肌萎縮性側索硬化癥之后,我以為,從此我就只能過著艱難而又與世隔絕的生活。但是,因為我相信我可以選擇,我愿意嘗試一切可能的生活方式。原先一開始看起來十分可怕的病確使我現在的生活變得異常尋常的幸福。其實幸福的生活一直在我身邊,只是我現在才選擇去發現它的存在。這種幸福感更加使我堅信:我總能選擇。