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I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
開始我直接求上帝賜輛自行車。 后來我琢磨上帝辦事兒不是這個(gè)路數(shù)。 于是老子偷了一輛然后求上帝寬恕。
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
我希望能像爺爺那樣，安靜地在睡夢中死去，而不要像他開的車上那些慘叫滴乘客一樣死法啊!
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
你永遠(yuǎn)不能戰(zhàn)勝一個(gè)純SB，因?yàn)樗麜涯愕闹巧汤礁麄€(gè)水平，然后用豐富的經(jīng)驗(yàn)打敗你。
The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list.
吾雖不殺伯仁，伯仁由我而死。
Some people are like Slinkies... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.
有些人就像 Slinkies(彈簧玩具)，沒什么實(shí)在用處，但看他們在樓梯上倒騰來倒騰去還是很有喜感。
We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
我們永遠(yuǎn)不可能真正的成熟，我們只是學(xué)會在眾人面前裝逼。
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
曾以為我想要的是職業(yè)，結(jié)果發(fā)現(xiàn)我只是想要工資。
Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
晚間新聞總是以“晚上好”開頭，再告訴你你為什么好不了。
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
直譯：知識就是說你知道西紅柿是一種水果;智慧就好似不要把它放進(jìn)水果沙拉里。
意譯a：知識就是告訴你說應(yīng)該把雞蛋放進(jìn)籃子，智慧則是叫你不要把所有雞蛋都放進(jìn)一個(gè)籃子。
意譯b：所謂知識就是知道韓少和小四都屬于80后，但智慧告訴你最終還是男女有別。
If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.
上帝瞅著咱們呢，大伙好歹喜感點(diǎn)吧!
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
無論，在任何情況下，永遠(yuǎn)，不要在一個(gè)夜晚，同時(shí)吃，安眠藥，和通便靈。
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
老子拼死拼活奮斗到食物鏈頂端，不是為了成為一個(gè)素食者。
Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
海豚可聰明了你知道不?只要馴養(yǎng)幾個(gè)星期，它們就能讓人類乖乖站在池邊給它們?nèi)郁~吃了。
