He cooked supper, using half a precious bottle of water to make it. The intimacy was still there but the talking was at an end. Alan could hardly contain his rising excitement. They had night together. Anything could happen.

他晚飯用去了半瓶珍貴的水，親密關(guān)系依舊存在，但他們已經(jīng)無話可說。阿蘭幾乎難以按捺那正在膨脹的沖動。他們一起擁有這個(gè)夜晚，任何事情都可能會發(fā)生。

Alan suddenly realized what he had to do. After supper, in the glow of the scented mountain twilight, he made coffee and they sat in silence. Darkness came slowly; the volume of the crickets seemed to increase. Still he had made no move.

阿蘭突然意識到他必須得做些什么了。晚飯后，在芳香彌漫的大山的幽光中，他煮了咖啡，他們默默地坐在一起。夜幕慢慢地降臨；蛐蛐兒的音量好像升高了。他仍沒有行動。

She was lying in front of the fire, her body almost glowing. Alan reached out a hand and temporarily she took it. Then Alice yawned and stretched.“I’m turning in now,”she said.

她躺在火堆前，身上閃閃發(fā)光。阿蘭伸出一只手，她暫時(shí)握住了他的手。接著，愛麗絲打哈欠，伸展身體。“我現(xiàn)在要睡覺了，”她說。

“More coffee?”asked Alan miserably.

“再來點(diǎn)咖啡？”阿蘭痛苦地問道。

She kissed him on the forehead. “No thanks”

她在他的前額上吻了吻。“不，謝謝。”

Had he ever loved his brother Tom? He must have done sometime. Certainly he had always been jealous of him as a child. He the introvert；Tom the extrovert. Alan thought about his introverted personality. He could see quite clearly how he had failed so dismally with Alice and how Tom had taken over so easily. Tom was what she wanted. She didn’t want what he had.

他愛他的弟弟湯姆嗎？有時(shí)他肯定愛，當(dāng)然他總是忌妒弟弟，像一個(gè)小孩子。對他們倆來說，他性格內(nèi)向，湯姆性格外向。阿蘭想著自己內(nèi)向的性格。他十分清楚自己如何在愛麗絲身上敗得這么慘，而湯姆又是如何輕而易舉便得到了她。湯姆正是她需要的那號人，她并不需要他這種人。 Gloomily, Alan climbed into the sleeping bag and drifted off to sleep. Beside him Alice slept, her breathing seeming to keep in time with the insistent beat of crickets.

阿蘭悶悶不樂地鉆進(jìn)自己的睡袋，漸漸地進(jìn)入了夢鄉(xiāng)。躺在他身旁的愛麗絲也睡著了，她的呼吸聲似乎和蛐蛐兒的鳴叫聲保持同步。

Alan dreamt. The crickets had stopped. There was a slight breeze and the luminous hand of his watch registered just after two. Her sleeping bag was empty; Alice had gone. For a while he just couldn’t believe it. He sat up and felt the dark walls of Santa Caterina close in on him.

阿蘭做了一個(gè)夢。蛐蛐聲都停止了。一陣微風(fēng)拂過。他的手表上的夜光針剛過了兩點(diǎn)。愛麗絲的睡袋空了；她已經(jīng)走了。好一陣子，他都無法相信這個(gè)事實(shí)。他坐起來，感到圣卡塔林納的黑黢黢的墻壁將他團(tuán)團(tuán)圍住了。

Then he was on the mountainside, stumbling blindly up the mountain path, hearing their laughter. Softly he crept up on them until he could see their bodies entwined. Alan’s anger rose to fever pitch and he rushed towards them. They fell apart. He sobbed as he had never sobbed since he was a child.

隨后，他來到山邊，踉踉蹌蹌地沿著山路盲目前行。聽見他們的朗朗笑聲，他輕輕地爬過去，看到兩個(gè)身體緊緊地貼在一塊。他感到痛苦萬分，怒不可遏地沖向他們。他們猛地分開了。他低聲啜泣，盡管他從孩提時(shí)起就從來沒有哭過。

She woke him anxiously shaking at his sunburnt shoulders.

她焦急地?fù)u著他被太陽曬黑的肩膀，喚醒了他。

“What’s the matter？”she kept asking over and over again“Alan, what’s wrong?”

“發(fā)生了什么事？”她一遍又一遍地問，“阿蘭，怎么了？”

He stared up at her, blinking in the glow of the dying camp fire.

他抬眼盯著她，在篝火的余光中眨著眼睛。

“Nothing,”he said automatically.“Nothing really.”

“沒什么，”他不由自主地說。“真的沒什么。”

“But—”

“可是——”

“Just a bad dream, that’s all.”

“只是做了一個(gè)惡夢，僅此而已。”

“You were crying.”Her voice was soft, tender, just like she used to be.

“你剛才在哭，”她的聲音像過去那樣溫柔和氣。

Alan turned over in his sleeping bag. “I’m fine.”he said.“Let’s get some sleep.”

阿蘭在睡袋里翻了一下身，背對著她說：“我很好，我們再睡一會兒吧！”

Alan woke with the early-morning sun gently warming his face. He sat up, his head muzzy with the dream, his cheeks salty, tear-stained.“You were crying.”Her voice came back to him and he winced. Alice had felt sorry for him and he instantly smothered, patronized. He broke into a sweat of agony and apprehension. How could he ever open up a discussion with her now?

阿蘭醒來時(shí)，晨陽暖暖地照在他的臉上。他滿臉淚痕，咸咸的。他坐起來，腦海里還懵懵懂懂地縈繞著那個(gè)夢。“你剛才在哭，”她的聲音又傳了過來。他退縮了一下。愛麗絲已經(jīng)感到對不起他了。他立即感到很壓抑。由于巨大的悲痛和憂傷，猛地出了一身冷汗。現(xiàn)在他將怎樣和她展開一場討論呢？

He looked cautiously round her sleeping bag. It was empty and Alan froze. Then, gradually, he relaxed. It was just after eight and she had probably gone to find a place to go to the loo. He waited, calmly, gloomily, and then anxiously as she did not appear. Hurriedly Alan struggled out of his sleeping bag and began to search the grounds of the monastery. But there was no sign of her at all.