Yet she also feared the light. It was too hard to reveal this. She buried it deep in shame, and so did those closest to her. When she was reunited with her mother in the labour camp, lying tearful with relief in the hollow of her arms, and her mother stroked her bald head, bald because she had cut off her hair in a bid to make the officers avoid her, she briefly told her. Her mother could not cope with it, and they said nothing more.
但是，奧赫恩也害怕燈光。吐露這樣的事情太艱難了。她深感羞愧，將它埋藏在心里，她最親近的人也是一樣。奧赫恩和自己的母親重聚時，躺在母親的懷里，松了一口氣，淚流滿面。母親撫摸著她的禿頭，她簡短地告訴母親，為了讓軍官們不去找她，自己剃了禿頭。奧赫恩的母親沒辦法應對這件事情，他們沒再多說什么。
She told a priest, since she still hoped to be a nun, but he deflected her as something sullied. When she met Tom Ruff, the British soldier who became her husband, she spoke of it once, then never again. She longed to scream out the details of what had been done to her, but instead she was expected to get on with life as though nothing had. In a way, she succeeded. She and Tom married and moved happily to Adelaide. She did not want sex, but bore it, and after surgery to mend her she had her daughters. Their house was full of music, and she sang in choirs. When Tom became an invalid, her faith helped her bear that. Outwardly she was smiling and serene. Inside was another story.
她告訴一位牧師，她仍舊希望成為一名修女，但是牧師認為她已經被玷污了。當奧赫恩遇到后來成為她丈夫的英國士兵湯姆·拉夫時，她只說了一次，后來就再也沒說過。她想要喊出自己遭遇的細節，但是她卻被期望像什么也沒有發生過一樣繼續過她的生活。在某種程度上，奧赫恩成功了。奧赫恩和湯姆結婚了，愉快地搬到阿德萊德。她不想做愛，她對此感到厭煩，手術后她又生了幾個女兒。他們的家里充滿音樂，而且奧赫恩在唱詩班唱歌。湯姆生病時，奧赫恩的信念幫她承受了這些。表面上她面帶微笑，神態安詳。在內心里又是另外一個故事。
All kinds of things reminded her, but especially the handkerchief in the drawer. A woman at the camp had passed it to her as she left for Semarang, and on the veranda of the brothelone evening, as they waited for that dreaded dark, she had asked the six other girls to sign it. Miep, Gerda, Els, Annie, Betty and Lies had written their names in pencil and she had sewn over them. Sometimes she would hold it to her face and cry.
所有這些東西都提醒著她，但是尤其是抽屜里的手帕。勞改營里的一個女人在她去三堡壟港市的時候把手帕給了她，那之前，他們在妓院的陽臺上等待著那可怕的黑暗時，她讓其他的六個女孩在手帕上簽了名。梅普、格爾達、埃爾斯、安妮、貝蒂和利斯用鉛筆寫了他們的名字，她把它們縫了起來。有時她會用手帕捂著臉哭泣。
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