評論
打印
Painful recollections will intrude which cannot, which ought not, to be repelled. I have been a selfish being all my life, in practice, though not in principle. As a child I was taught what was right, but I was not taught to correct my temper. I was given good principles, but left to follow them in pride and conceit. Unfortunately an only son (for many years an only child), I was spoilt by my parents, who, though good themselves (my father, particularly, all that was benevolent and amiable), allowed, encouraged, almost taught me to be selfish and overbearing; to care for none beyond my own family circle; to think meanly of all the rest of the world; to wish at least to think meanly of their sense and worth compared with my own. Such I was, from eight to eight and twenty; and such I might still have been but for you, dearest, loveliest Elizabeth! What do I not owe you! You taught me a lesson, hard indeed at first, but most advantageous. By you, I was properly humbled. I came to you without a doubt of my reception. You shewed me how insufficient were all my pretensions to please a woman worthy of being pleased."
我腦子里總免不了想起一些苦痛的事情，實在不能不想，也不應該不想。我雖然并不主張自私，可是事實上卻自私了一輩子。從小時候起，大人就教我，為人處世應該如此這般，卻不教我要把脾氣改好。他們教我要學這個規矩那個規矩，又讓我學會了他們的傲慢自大。不幸我是一個獨生子（有好幾年，家里只有我一個孩子），從小給父母親寵壞了。雖然父母本身都是善良人（特別是父親，完全是一片慈善心腸，和藹可親），卻縱容我自私自利，傲慢自大，甚至還鼓勵我如此，教我如此。他們教我，除了自己家里人以外，不要把任何人放在眼里，教我看不起天下人，至少希望我去鄙薄別人的見識，鄙薄別人的長處，把天下人都看得不如我。從八歲到二十八歲，我都是受的這種教養，好伊麗莎白，親伊麗莎白，要不是虧了你，我可能到現在還是如此！我哪一點不都是虧了你！你給了我一頓教訓，開頭我當然受不了，可是我實在受益非淺。你羞辱得我好有道理。當初我向你求婚，以為你一定會答應。多虧你使我明白過來，我既然認定一位小姐值得我去博她歡心，我又一味對她自命不凡，那是萬萬辦不到的。”
"Had you then persuaded yourself that I should?"
“當初你真以為會博得我的歡心嗎？”
"Indeed I had. What will you think of my vanity? I believed you to be wishing, expecting my addresses."
“我的確是那樣想的。你一定會笑我太自負吧？我當時還以為你在指望著我、等待著我來求婚呢。”
"My manners must have been in fault, but not intentionally, I assure you. I never meant to deceive you, but my spirits might often lead me wrong. How you must have hated me after that evening?"
“那一定是因為我態度不好，可是我告訴你，我并不是故意要那樣。我決不是有意欺騙你，可是我往往憑著一時的興致，以致造成大錯，從那天下午起，你一定是非常恨我。”
"Hate you! I was angry perhaps at first, but my anger soon began to take a proper direction."
“恨你！開頭我也許很氣你，可是過了不久，我便知道究竟應該氣誰了。”
