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Beethoven-Pure Joy
完美的快樂
I must live almost alone like one who has been banished, I can mix with society only as much as true necessity demands. If I approach near to people a hot terror seizes upon me and I fear being exposed to the danger that my condition might be noticed. Thus it has been during the late six months which I have spent in the country...what a humiliation for me when someone standing next to me heard a flute in the distance and I heard nothing, or someone heard a shepherd singing and again I heard nothing. Such incidents drove me almost to despair, a little more of that and I would have ended my life-it was only my art that held me back. Ah, it seemed to me impossible to leave the world until I had brought forth all that I felt was within me... Oh Providence-grant me at last but one day of pure joy-it is so long since real joy echoed in my heart...
我必須像個被放逐的人那樣，過一種近乎獨處的生活。我與社會的接觸僅限于滿足一些完全是最基本的需要。我一旦接近其他人，就有一種強烈的恐懼感。我深怕陷入一種危險，即人們可能發覺我的處境。最近我住在鄉下的半年，就是這種狀態……當我身邊站著的人聽到遠處長笛吹奏的樂聲，我卻什么也聽不見。或是有人聽到一個牧羊人在唱歌，而我還是什么也聽不到，這對我是多么大的羞辱啊。這樣的事情把我逼到了幾乎絕望的境地。要是再遇到一些，我恐懼早就結束自己的生命了——然而，正是我的藝術挽救了我。啊，我好像只有把內心的東西都傾瀉出來之后，才可能離開這個世界。哦，上帝——無論如何賜給我哪怕一天的完美的快樂吧——我已經很久沒有感受真正的快樂在我心中回蕩了……
