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Funny Excuses Notes
可笑的假條
If you think that today's students aren't learning all they should, check out some of the writing miscreated by their moms and dads. The following are some funny excuses notes received by teachers, spelling mistakes included. In these samples, names were replaced with either John or Mary.
如果你認為現(xiàn)在的學生沒有學好他們該學的，就請你看看他們的爸爸媽媽們寫的東西吧。下面是一些家長寫給老師的搞笑的假條，里面的拼寫錯誤也原封不動地保留下來。我們只是把其中的名字換成了約翰或瑪麗。
My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.
醫(yī)生在看護我的兒子，他不能上今天的體育課了。請?zhí)帥Q他吧。
Please excuse Mary for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
請原諒瑪麗不能來上課，她生病了，我找人把她打死了。
Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.
親愛的校方：約翰1月28、29、30、31、32和33號都不能來上課，請原諒。
Please excuse John from P.E. for a few days. He fell yesterday out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
約翰有幾天不能上體育課，請原諒。他昨天從樹上掉下來，把屁股摔歪了。
John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.
約翰沒來上課是因為從他的臉上拔掉了兩顆牙。
John was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
約翰昨天沒來上課是因為他在踢足球，他傷到了生長的部分【應為growing pains（醫(yī)）發(fā)育期痛】
John will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
約翰不能來上學因為他側面疼。
Please excuse John Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
請原諒約翰星期五沒來上學，因為他的元音太松馳了。【應為have loose bowels腹瀉】
Please excuse John for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.
請原諒約翰昨天沒來上學，他瀉肚，他的靴子也漏了。
John was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
約翰昨天沒來上課是因為他沒被打著。
Please excuse John for being. It was his father's fault.
請原諒約翰……，這都是他爸爸的錯。
I kept Mary home because she had to go Christmas shopping because I didn't know what size she wear.
我沒讓瑪麗去上學是因為我得帶她去圣誕采購，因為我不知道她穿多大的衣服。
Please excuse Mary for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
請原諒瑪麗昨天沒來上學。我們忘了把星期天那頁從走廊上撕下來了。當我們發(fā)覺是星期一時，我們還以為是星期天。
Mary won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral.
從星期五開始的一個星期瑪麗都不能來上課，我們要去參加她的葬禮。
Please excuse Mary from Jim today. She is administrating.
請為吉姆原諒瑪麗，她正在處理事務。
Mary was absent December 11--16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache, and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the berst either, sore throat and fever. There must be the flu going around school, her father got hot last night.
12月11到16號瑪麗沒來是因為她發(fā)燒了、嗓子疼、頭疼，而且腸胃不舒服。她的妹妹也病了，發(fā)燒、嗓子疼。她弟弟也發(fā)低燒，渾身疼。我也沒能幸免，嗓子疼還發(fā)燒。學校里一定是有流感，甚至于昨晚她爸爸也發(fā)燒了。
My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.
昨天我女兒沒來上學是因為她太累了，她和海軍陸戰(zhàn)隊一塊兒過的周末。
Please excuse my son's tardiness. I forgot to wake him up and I did not find him till I started making the beds.
請原諒我兒子的拖拖拉拉。我忘了叫他起床了，而且直到鋪床的時候我才找到他。
Mary could not come to school because she has been bothered by very close veins.
瑪麗不能來上學是因為她的血管太近了。
