Obituary;Norman Wisdom;
訃告;諾曼·威斯登;
Sir Norman Wisdom, comedian, died on October 4th, aged 95
英老牌喜劇演員諾曼·威斯登爵士于10月4日辭世,鶴壽95。
What a chirpy little fellow that Norman was! All puppy eyes, rubber legs and innocent smiles, even when the world was crashing round him. Show him a grand piano, and he'd have to dive into it. Suggest a manhole, and he'd plummet straight down it. Run a cable across the road and he'd go flying into next week. He'd fall over his own shadow, or box it into a pulp behind the sofa; he'd fall over his own feet, and saunter on singing.
諾曼,多么活潑的小矮子! 他,有著十足的小狗眼、橡皮腿和即使是世界末日也沒心沒肺的笑。見到大鋼琴,他一定會朝里鉆,說有一個坑,他一定會徑直往下跳,見到橫穿道路的電纜,他一定會在下星期表演絆倒。他會被他自己的影子絆倒,甚至,他把自己的影子裝進沙發后的紙槳盒;他也會被自己的雙腳絆倒,隨后又唱著歌兒閑逛。
It's true they didn't find him uproarious everywhere. He'd rock them in the aisles in Blackpool, but raise only a shrug in New York. His mime of eating a sandwich on a fast-moving train would leave them cold in Glasgow, but make them fall about in Tehran—and in Moscow and Buenos Aires and, very oddly, in Tirana, where perhaps the only possible reason was that they were as mad as himself.
這一點倒是不假——并不是每一地方的人們都認為他的表演令人發笑。雖然,在黑澤,他會使人們笑破肚皮,但是在紐約,人們只會對他的表演來一個聳肩示疑。雖然,他在一列飛馳火車上吃三明治的啞劇表演,打動不了格拉斯哥人,但是,他會使德黑蘭、莫斯科和布宜諾斯艾利斯的人們捧腹大笑。很是訝異的是,地拉那的人們亦一樣捧腹,地拉那,[那可是共產主義國家阿爾巴尼亞的首都喲],或許,地拉那人捧腹的唯一可能原因是他們也像諾曼一樣發了狂。
He was born grinning, it seemed. He was certainly born small, and never made much progress after. The littlest in his gang at school, the tiny cabin boy aboard the Maindy Court sailing for Argentina, almost the scrawniest in his regiment in India in the 1930s. Everyone's mascot, jester, dogsbody, hoping to foil the punches by rolling over and begging for a pat on the head. He was five-foot-four on a good day, easily dwarfed by bosses, army sergeants, aristocrats or rivals for the willowy girls who strolled into his life. When his second wife walked out on him in 1968 he couldn't help remarking, bitterly, that she had left him for someone handsomer and taller.
諾曼似乎是咧嘴笑著出生的。他出生時一定也很小,而且后來也從未見長大了多少。在學校時,他是小伙伴中最小的。上世紀30年代,他是印度駛向阿根廷的美蒂宮廷號船上的一個小不點式的船艙侍應生,幾乎是侍應生中瘦得皮包骨最嚴重的一個。他成了船上每一個人的吉祥物、供人逗樂者、打雜工,希望通過打滾并乞人拍其頭來彰顯自己重要。他過上一段好日子的時候,身高1米64,一位身材纖長的姑娘進入了他的生活。他的身高在上司、軍士、貴族或對手面前,明顯相形見絀。1968年,他的第二位妻子遺棄了他,他痛不自禁地訴說,她離開他是因為某個人比他更英俊更高大。
Smallness shaped Little Norm, but poverty taught him something, too. As a boy, thrown out by his drunken father, he slept rough in London and stole to eat. The gutter wasn't a bad place, considering. He learned things there, such as how to lift eggs very nimbly and delicately from a stall and secrete them, uncracked, in his pockets. He also acquired the trick of making his lower lip tremble when asking, his pathetic face only just above the counter, for a free pie from a coffee stall. By the time of his first hugely successful film, “Trouble in Store” (1953), he could stretch the pathos really far: to the point where, soaking wet after a tumble into a duck-pond, he sadly serenaded his love in a teashop, and then found he had nothing in his pockets to pay with except one small, wriggling fish.
貧窮決定了矮子諾曼的人生方向,但貧窮也教會了他某些東西。在他還是一個少年的時候,他的父親就把他趕出家門,他在倫敦露宿街頭,偷竊為食。就他而言,貧民窟還算是好去處。倫敦歲月,他學到了本領,比方:如何敏捷靈巧地把蛋從攤子上偷走并在他口袋中完好地隱藏起來。他也學到了在乞討時使下唇發抖的技巧,乞討時,為了向咖啡攤主討要一塊免費餡餅,他把自己臉剛好伸在柜臺上方,顯出一副凄慘面容。到1953年,他的首部獲得巨大成功的電影《麻煩要來》上演之時,他把他的裝可憐的本領發揮到了極至:在一個簡明的場景里,他在滾進一鴨子池塘全身濕透后,于一間茶館向他愛慕的女子凄涼地唱起小夜曲,而隨后付賬時,他才發現衣袋里除了一條小小的、扭動著的魚,分文沒有。
Yet he'd always find a swagger from somewhere, and carry on. With this attitude he worked his way through provincial theatres in the 1940s, dying and thriving by turns. When theatre managers slammed doors in his face he'd just keep on, “Give us a chance, Mr Smith”, “Let me sing you a song, Mr Jones”, until he wore them down with sheer persistence. When he was allowed on the stage for long enough, tap-dancing and pratfalling all over the place, everyone loved him and the audience went wild. And never wilder than on that April night in 1948 when he marched through the door of Bernard Delfont's London Casino and became an overnight sensation. “Welcome to the West End, Norman,” Mr Delfont said.
然而,他總是努力使自己顯得自信滿滿,并踐行之。在40年代,他憑著這種心態擠進了各地方戲院,盡管生計時好時壞。有時,戲院老板將他拒之門外,他會不斷爭取,“史密斯先生,給我一個機會”,“瓊斯先生,我給你唱支歌吧”,直到由于他的死纏濫打使老板們厭煩而最終接收他。當他在舞臺上得到機會有足夠長的時間表演踢踏舞和旋地舞后,人人都迷上了他并欣喜若狂。但沒有哪一次狂歡比得上1948年4月的狂歡——他步入伯納德·德爾方特娛樂場大門造就的徹夜狂歡。“諾曼,城西區歡迎你”,德爾方特道。
Life's physical batterings trained him up, too. His father sometimes beat him so savagely that his head hit the ceiling before he crashed, but that taught him how to fall. People bullied and belted him, so he learned how to box, and that became part of his act on a regular basis. Did he whip his tormentors? Not half! Every time he went down, on stage or screen, he would struggle up with smouldering determination. Even pounded into the mud until he swallowed it, as he was in a football match in “Up in the World” (1956), he emerged as “that dangerous little man”, baring his teeth like a tiger.
生活的沉重打擊也促使他奮力前行。有時,他父親對他的毆打是如此殘忍,以至于在他崩潰前,頭已撞到天花板。但是,這教會了他如何使傷害小一些。人們欺凌他,毆打他,讓他學會了如何躲避傷害。而且,這些經歷也成了他表演節目中的不可或缺的一部分。他對傷害他的人還以拳頭否?絕不!每當他在舞臺或屏幕上出現表演失誤,他都會用心中潛伏的堅強意志奮力再戰。就像他于1956年出演的電影《平步青雲》中一場足球賽那樣,即使被搗成爛泥,也要堅持到把爛泥吞下去。電影中,他扮演“富有攻擊性的矮小子”,這小子露出像老虎一樣的牙齒。
He never forgot to be dignified, though. Perhaps this was why Albanians liked him. Higher-ups (and his world was entirely full of higher-ups) could treat Little Norm with contempt, but he would triumph somehow. He would walk on their grass, turn his hose on their tailored backs, or tip the entire navy top brass over the rail and into the sea. He was as good as they were. Scruffy he might be, with tie askew and too-short trousers, but he was not a tramp. And though barked at by his superiors, especially the despairing Mr Grimsdale, he would just come sunnily back with his bright but disastrous ideas.
然而,他沒齒未忘的是,人——是有尊嚴的。 也許,這就是阿爾巴尼亞人喜歡他的原因。雖然,小矮子諾曼之上的大人物們(他的人生中處處有大人物)對他以蔑視待之,但他總會有辦法對付他們。他會在大人物的草坪上散步,脫下自己的褲子換上大人物們的定制服裝,或者,掀掉草坪圍欄上的全部上好的藏青銅飾并將其拋入海中。實際上,他們與他沒有兩樣。雖然,他也許衣裝襤褸、領帶斜系、褲子太短,但他并不是一個流浪漢。雖然,他的上司,特別是令人失望的 Grimsdale先生曾如狗叫一般使喚他,但他也只是快樂地回憶起他的輝煌而不是曾經的那些壞念頭。
Once he had decided that comedy was his life, he practised and practised. This discipline the army taught him—as well as how to play 11 instruments, and trip up people on parade. When he caused hilarity once by falling off a horse, he rehearsed more such tumbles until he was black and blue. At work, he would go through his routines from 9am till just before six in the darkened theatre; out of work, he would spend hours pulling faces in mirrors. His reward was stardom in the 1950s and 1960s, a knighthood in 2000, a yacht and several gleaming motors. He had to skip in the 1980s to a mansion in the Isle of Man, so the tax man wouldn't get him.
一旦他決定把喜劇表演作為他的生存手段,他就練習再練習。這種訓練習慣都是他在從軍生涯中養成的——他也學會了演奏11種樂器和在游行中向人群表演絆倒。一旦他的馬摔表演引起轟動,他通常加倍表演,直到遍體鱗傷。上班時,他會從上午九點到晚上六點劇院漆黑一片,做完日常事務。下班后,他又花數小時在鏡前拉臉。上世紀50到60年代,他的收入來自他的演員職業。2000年,他被授予爵士,有一艘快艇,數輛閃亮的摩托。80年代,他不得不悄然溜到馬恩島的一公館,以便收稅員找不到他。