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53 A News Report
一則新聞報道
Good morning everyone, I'm covering this story from the county courthouse.
大家早上好！我正在法院報道這里發生的故事。
Our coverage of this event began two days ago when the police arrested Tom Smith for using counterfeit to buy an engagement ring.
我們對這起事件的新聞報道開始于兩天前，當時警方因湯姆史密斯涉嫌用假幣購買訂婚戒指逮捕了他。
Tom Smith is famous for winning the covetous gold horse trophy last year before suffering a serious head injury in a fall.
去年湯姆因先是獲貪心的金馬獎而后又在一次墜馬中頭部嚴重受傷而名聲大噪。
What makes this case unusual is that Tom claims he was buying the ring for his girlfriend, who is actually a cow.
使這個案件異乎尋常的是湯姆聲稱他當時正為他女朋友---事實上是一頭奶牛---買戒指。
That's correct, folks, I didn't say cowhand, I said cow.
各位，這是真的，我說的不是牛仔，是奶牛。
Apparently, he has had a sic-month courtship with a cow whom he believes is human.
看得出，湯姆向這頭他認為是人的奶牛求愛已經六個月了。
Tom appeared in court today wearing a cowboy costume.
湯姆今天身著牛仔服出庭。
He cowered when he saw all of the TV cameras.
看到了周圍的電視攝像機，他有些畏縮不前。
The judge asked Tom countless questions about his relationship with his girlfriend, the cow.
法官向他提出了無數關于他和他女朋友（那頭奶牛）的問題。
“Does she speak to you, Tom?” the judge asked.
“她和你說話嗎，湯姆？”法官問道。
“No,” relied Tom.
“不，”湯姆回答說，
“She's rather coy. That's what I like about her.
“她很靦腆。這是是我喜歡她的地方。
I'm also fond of the way she courteously listens to all of my problems.
我還喜歡她彬彬有禮的聆聽我發牢騷的樣子。
I think we make a good couple.
我想我們是一對佳偶。
I consider her my counterpart in life.”
我已把她當成了我生命中的另一半。”
“Are you intending to marry her?” the judge asked with a serious face.
“你會和她結婚嗎？”法官一臉嚴肅地問。
“Absolutely,” Tom replied.
“絕對會。”湯姆回答道，
“I've already hired a courier to deliver the wedding invitations.”
“我已經雇了信使去分發結婚請柬。”
“Okay, that's enough,” said the judge, shaking his head from side to side.
“好，就到這吧。”法官說著搖了搖頭。
“I'm going to require that you take medicine to counteract the effects of your head injury.
“我要要求你服藥來消除你頭部受傷的影響，
I'm also going to have a psychologist counsel you.”
而且還請心理學家為你提供咨詢。”
“Thank you, judge,” said Tom with a sigh of relief.
“謝謝你，法官，”湯姆如釋重負地舒了口氣，
“But I think my girlfriend will also need counseling.”
“但我想我女朋友也需要咨詢服務。”
