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Morning~AmyLee要認真規劃好備考的每一天，你呢！非常感謝大家的陪伴，我們YY可可備考小組的成員越來越多了，不許偷懶，托福優秀范文一天寫一篇學一篇哦，寫好了可以發送至我郵箱keke3096@qq.com進行互批，共同進步!^^
我已經托福三戰過了，對考試各方面都很熟悉，所以大家到考前了有什么疑惑也可以發郵件給我，我會盡力為大家解答。
每天的寫作任務是這樣的，寫好每天的作文發至我的郵箱（如果你想加入作文批改小組請注明），我們將進入互批作文模式。
在此我對每天的topic進行解析和范文精講，請大家寫完作文之后不忘進行比較，找出自己的不足之處。開始吧！
23. In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. Do you think this is a good idea? Support your opinion by using specific reasons and details.
參考分析： 注意審題。是teenager而不是college students。Teenagers have jobs，這顯然是一個BAD idea。Teenager，意指十幾歲的孩子——16歲或者18歲以下(18歲以上就是adult了，16、7的孩子往往被稱之為young adults。參見：[61])。雇用童工(Employing children labor)目前在很多國家是非法(illegal)的。也違反國際兒童保護條約(International Children Act )。允許雇用童工，或存在童工現象，都是一個國家落后愚昧的表現。
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23、學習期間打工是一個好主意 |
Topic 23 Should teenagers work?
In some countries, teenagers have jobs while they are still students. After thinking about it from several aspects, I do not believe it is a good idea. The reasons are presented below.
Part-time jobs may affect students' academic studies. Working several hours a day consumes（=spend）a lot of time and one might be too exhausted to study. The main purpose of school life for teenagers is to learn scientific knowledge and techniques in preparation for their future. It is generally suggested that in order to master what they have learned at school, students must spend at least 3 hours each day on their homework. It would be impossible for a student to work part-time while maintaining a high standard of academic learning. As a result, they may find it hard to adjust to what the school and society expects from them as well as what their employers expect them to perform on the job.
Another reason why I do not approve（贊成）teenagers to work part-time is that working while studying will deprive（剝奪）their time of sleep and will do harm to their health. Teenagers are in the process of（in the process of意為在…時期）building up their body. They need time to do exercises and engage（吸引，參加）in other activities, and they also need plenty of rest. If they work, they may sacrifice their time for sleep, club activities, exercise, and recreation（娛樂；消遣）.Sometimes, teenagers have jobs that consume more strength than they can afford. This will be definitely harmful to their health.
Finally, working part-time and making extra money may contribute to their bad habits. Teenagers are not mature enough to spend money wisely. However with part-time jobs they make money that allow them to spend whatever way they like, such as playing electronic games, smoking, drinking, and even gambling.
Based on the above discussion, I do not think it is a good idea for teenagers to work while they are still students. Compared with their whole lifetime, school life is a short period. Teenagers should value their school life and make full use of the time. Only by working hard during school life can they find their proper jobs（合適的工作）in their future life.
好了，今天就說這么多，大家一定要堅持練習作文，每天進步一小點，一個月下來托福寫作絕對是質的提升！希望大家跟著我每天一篇練下去，寫作都是硬功夫，跟小時候每周都要寫語文作文是一樣的，功夫到家自然成，加油！
最后再mention一下互評作文的事情，這個作文互評目前只有我在做，我希望盡可能給有需要的可可粉們提供幫助，如果你們中有愿意跟我一起批改大家作文的，一定要mail我加入哦！（互批可以進步非常快，做過才知道！）
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