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One of the major principles of happiness – and this comes as a shock to no one – is that perception shapes reality. The way we view something determines our experience. I saw this during the Inauguration. A person could say, "It's fantastic to be here among so many people," or a person could say, "It's a pain to be stuck in these crowds and long lines." Same reality, different perception.
想要快樂須銘記一條原則，那就是“感知塑造現實”，誰也不會對這句話吃驚。我們看待事物的方式決定我們的體驗。從就職儀式中我就發(fā)現了這一點。一個人可以說：“能和這么多人在這里真好!”另一個人也可以說：“陷入長長的隊伍和人群中真痛苦。” 同樣的現實，不一樣的感受。
I realized the importance of characterization when I eavesdropped on a few conversations between my three-year-old and her grandmother.
我無意中聽到了我3歲女兒和她祖母的對話后，我發(fā)現了描述方式有多重要。
My daughter:"Can I please have some ice cream?" (Yes, she did say 'please'.)
我的女兒說：“請問我能吃一些冰激凌嗎？” (是的，她說了‘請’。)
My mother-in-law:"Okay, but you had a cookie earlier, so I'm just going to give you a little bit."
我的岳母說：“好的，但是你剛才吃了一塊餅干，我只再給你一點。”
My daughter:"No, no, I want a big bowl! Not a little bit."
我的女兒：“不，不，我要一大碗!不是一點。”
My mother-in-law:"Tonight you're going to go to bed nice and early."
我的岳母：“今晚你要乖乖地早些睡覺。”
My daughter:"No, no, no! Not early, I want to stay up late!"
我的女兒：“不，不! 不要早，要晚！”
Had my mother-in-law said, "I'm giving you a big scoop" or "We're letting you stay up late," my daughter would have accepted that characterization instead of protesting. Same bowl of ice cream, same bedtime, different perception.
如果我的岳母說：“我給你一大勺”或“我讓你晚些睡覺”，我的女兒也許就會接受這個“描述”而不會抗議了。同樣大小的碗，同樣的睡覺時間，不同的感知。
And this isn't just true of children. The other day, I was talking to an acquaintance, and the subject of happiness came up. She said, "Well, Gretchen, you dabble in the subject of happiness, don't you?"
這一情況不僅僅出現在兒童身上。前些天，我在和一位熟人談話，聊到了快樂的話題。她說：“Gretchen，你在涉足快樂問題，是嗎?”
