評論
打印
Right, Sandra. You wanted to see me to get some feedback on your group's proposal.
好的，桑德拉。你想讓我對你的小組提案提出一些反饋。
The one you're submitting for the Geography Society field trip competition.
關于你提交的地理社會實地考察競賽。
I've had a look through your proposal and I think it's a really good choice.
我看了一遍你的提議，我覺得是一個很好的選擇。
In fact, I only have a few things to say about it,
事實上，我只有幾點要說，
but even in an outline document like this you really have to be careful to avoid typos and problems with layout in the proposal, and even in the contents pags.
但是即使是像這樣的大綱，你也要避免拼寫錯誤，而且注意你在方案，甚至是在目錄頁的布局。
So read it through carefully before submitting it, okay? Will do.
所以在提交前仔細讀一遍，好嗎？好的。
And I've made a few notes on the proposal about things which could have been better sequenced. Okay.
我在方案上就更好的排序問題做了標注。好的。
As for the writing itself, I've annotated the proposal as and where I thought it could be improved.
至于寫作本身，當我覺得哪里需要改進的時候，我就做了注釋。
Generally speaking, I feel you've often used complex structures and long sentences for the sake of it and asa consequence...
總的來說，我覺得你常用復雜的長句子，
although your paragraphing and inclusion of sub-headings help...
盡管你的分段和副標題可以起到幫助的作用，
it's quite hard to follow your train of thought at times.
但是有時還是很難了解你的發展思路。
So cut them down a bit, can you? Really?
所以刪去一些，好嗎？真的嗎？
Yes.And don't forget simple formatting like numbering.
是的，別忘了一些簡單的格式，比如編號。
Didn't I use page numbers? I didn't mean that.
我沒有用頁碼嗎？我不是說這個。
Look, you've remembered to include headers and footers, which is good, but listing ideas clearly is important.
你記得使用頁眉和頁腳，這很好，但是清楚的列出觀點很重要。
Number them or use bullet points, which is even clearer.
給它們編號或者使用更清楚的項目符號，
Then you'll focus the reader on your main points.
然后你就能使讀者關注你的要點。
I thought your suggestion to go to the Navajo Tribal Park was a very good idea.
我認為你建議去納瓦霍部落公園是一個很好的主意。
I've always wanted to go there.
我總想去那里。
My father was a great fan of cowboy films and the Wild West so I was subjected to seeing all the epics, manyof which were shot there.
我父親是西部牛仔電影的忠實愛好者，所以我也看了所有這類型的電影，許多電影還是在那里拍攝的。
As a consequence, it feels very familiar to me and it's awesome both geographically and visually, so it's somewhere I've always wantes to visit.
結果，我非常熟悉那里，無論是地理學上還是視覺上那里都非常美，所以我總是想去那里看看。
The subsequent research I did and the online photographs made me even keener.
我的后續研究和網上的照片使我對那里更加向往。
