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Somewhere near the middle of his time at Stuyvesant, a vague sense of discontent started to emerge within Mao. He had always felt himself a part of a mob of "nameless, faceless Asian kids," who were "like a part of the decor of the place." He had been content to keep his head down and work toward the goal shared by everyone at Stuyvesant: Harvard. But around the beginning of his senior year, he began to wonder whether this march toward academic success was the only, or best, path.
當(dāng)毛在史岱文森待了大約一半日子時，他的心中開始隱約產(chǎn)生不滿。他始終覺得自己是那一大群“沒有姓名、沒有個性的亞洲孩子”中的一分子，就像是“這地方的一個裝飾品”。他一直心甘情愿地埋頭苦讀，向著當(dāng)時史岱文森所有學(xué)生的目標(biāo)一哈佛努力。然而升上高二沒多久，他就開始懷疑，這條通往學(xué)業(yè)成功的征途，是否是唯一的，或者最好的道路。
You can't help but feel like there must be another way, he explains over a bowl of pho. "It's like, we're being pitted against each other while there are kids out there in the Midwest who can do way less work and be in a garage band or something—and if they're decently intelligent and work decently hard in school…"
“你總會忍不住覺得一定還有另外一條路，”他邊吃著面前的一碗越南河粉，邊解釋道。“我們這些亞裔孩子在互相較著勁，而中西部的孩子們需要做的功課則少得多，可以參加車庫樂隊之類的活動，如果這些人本身相當(dāng)聰明，在學(xué)校里學(xué)習(xí)也很用功的話……”
Mao began to study the racially inflected social hierarchies at Stuyvesant: where, in a survey undertaken by the student newspaper this year, slightly more than half of the respondents reported that their friends within their own ethnic group. His attention focused on the mostly group whose members seemed able to manage the crushing workload whilt still remaining socially active. "The general gist of most high school movies is that the pretty cheerleader gets with the big dumb jock, and the nerd is left to bide his time in loneliness. But at some point in the future," he says, "the nerd is going to rule the world, and the dumb jock is going to work in a carwash."
毛開始研究起史岱文森高中內(nèi)部受種族影響的社會等級制度。史岱文森學(xué)生報今年做了一項校內(nèi)調(diào)査，過半受調(diào)査者都聲稱他們的朋友和自己來自同一民族。他尤其關(guān)注大多數(shù)白人團體，這些人似乎可以在應(yīng)付繁忙學(xué)業(yè)的同時，仍然堅持著活躍的社交活動。“大多數(shù)高中生電影的狗血情節(jié)是漂亮的啦啦隊長跟了四肢發(fā)達(dá)、頭腦簡單的肌肉男，而書呆子則被晾在一卑，寂寞地獨自打發(fā)時日，”他說，“但在將來的某一天，這個書呆子將會統(tǒng)治世界，而肌肉男卻只能在洗車場工作。”
At Stuy, it's completely different: If you looked at the pinnacle, the girls and the guys are not only good-looking and socially affable, they also get the best grades and star in the school plays and win election to student government. It all converges at the top. It's like training for high society. It was jarring for us Chinese kids. You got the sense that you had to study hard, but it wasn't enough.
“但是在史岱文森，情況完全不同：如果你看一下尖子生隊伍，那些男生女生絕不僅僅是相貌出眾、八面玲瓏，他們獲得優(yōu)異的成績，是校園劇的明星，并且在學(xué)生會選舉拔得頭籌。所有這些榮譽都集聚在頂端，就好像在為進入上流社會進行訓(xùn)練。這讓我們這些中國孩子很受震動。你會覺得努力學(xué)習(xí)很必要，但光這樣是不夠的。”
