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She watched Bissell's paranoia grow to the point that, when he slept, he kept a hatchet under the bed and a knife under his pillow. He would stand by the apartment door for hours with a can of Mace to fend off imagined intruders.
她注意到比斯爾的妄想癥加劇。在他睡覺時，床下放著一把短柄手斧，枕下放著一把刀。他還常常一連幾個小時站在公寓房門旁，手里拿著一罐催淚瓦斯，準備抵御想象中的闖入者。
In 1981, only three years into his career, Bissell slashed his wrist. When the paramedics reached him, Bissell smashed a bottle to use for a weapon and fought them off. Next day, he was bandaged and back onstage.
1981年，這是比斯爾的事業剛剛開始的第三年，他割腕了。當醫護人員走近他時，他打碎了一只瓶子當作武器，把他們趕走了。第二天，他扎著繃帶回到了舞臺上。
By this time, he and Kirkland were clearly out of control—spending weeks on cocaine binges. Increasingly they were absent from rehearsals and late for performances. Both were fired from their jobs, rehired and fired again. In the end, Gelsey Kirkland sought help.
到這時，他和柯克蘭顯然已無法自拔——連續幾個星期都在狂吸可卡因。他們不參加排練，演出遲到，并且次數越來越多。兩人都被解雇了，之后得到重新聘用，又再次被解雇。格爾西·柯克蘭最終尋求了幫助。
Patrick Bissell did not.
帕特里克·比斯爾卻沒有這樣做。
In the fall of 1987, the ballet company sent Bissell away for reatment—to the Betty Ford Center in California. He told friends that he was ready to clear up his life. He wanted a fresh start.
1987年秋天，芭蕾舞公司送比斯爾去治療——到加利福尼亞州的貝蒂福特中心。他告訴朋友們，他準備戒毒，想重新開始生活。
He was released a week early and returned to New York. During December, Amy Rose, a ballerina he had become engaged to, was on tour in California and would return to New York after the holidays. Alone, Bissell got a Christmas tree and decorated it for their apartment.
他提前一星期就被放了出來，回到了紐約。12月，與他訂婚的女芭蕾舞演員埃米·羅斯去加利福尼亞州旅行，并將在假期結束后回到紐約。于是比斯爾獨自一人去買了一棵圣誕樹，將公寓裝飾起來。
On December 23, he had a long telephone conversation with his parents. His mother begged him to join them at home. He declined, explaining that being alone during Christmas was a chance for him to show that he was strong enough to live without cocaine.
12月23日，他和父母進行了電話長談。母親懇求他回家一塊過節，但他拒絕了。他解釋說，一個人的圣誕節使他有機會證明自己已經十分堅強，離開可卡因也可以生活下去。
