評論
打印
The self has new value now that his competency has been proved.
既然個人能力已經(jīng)得到了證明，自己也就有了新的價值。
His wife is struggling with her own age-30 priorities. She wants to go to law school, but he wants more children. If she is going to stay home, she wants him to make more time for the family instead of taking on even wider professional commitments. His view of the bind, of what he would most like from his wife, is this:
他的妻子也正面臨著而立之年的各種矛盾。她想讀法律學校，而他想要更多的孩子。如果她要待在家里，她希望丈夫也能騰出更多時間在家而不是忙于自己的工作。他對自己與家庭的聯(lián)系、對妻子的期望是這樣的：
I'd like not to be bothered. It sounds cruel, but I'd like not to have to worry about what she's going to do next week. Which is why I've told her several times that I think she should do something. Go back to school and get a degree in social work or geography or whatever. Hopefully that would fulfill her, and then I wouldn't have to worry about her line of problems. I want her to be decisive, about herself.
“我不想被別人打擾。這聽起來很殘忍，但是我真的不想操心她下周想干什么。所以我跟她說過好幾次了，她應該找點事做。回學校修一修社會學，或者地理學，或者隨便哪個學科，拿個學位。希望那樣能讓她感到滿足，我就不用為她的事費心了。我希望她自己的事自己拿主意。”
The trouble with his advice to his wife is that it comes out of concern with his convenience, rather than with her development. She quickly picks up on this lack of goodwill: He is trying to dispose of her. At the same time, he refuses her the same latitude to be "selfish" in making an independent decision to broaden her own horizons. Both perceive a lack of mutuality. And that is what Catch-30 is all about for the couple.
問題在于，他給妻子的建議是為了方便自己，而不是關心妻子的個人發(fā)展。她很快就指出丈夫并不是出于好意：丈夫是在想方設法擺脫她這個累贅。與此同時，他也不希望妻子和他一樣“自私”，擅做主張地去開闊視野。雙方都發(fā)現(xiàn)彼此沒有為對方著想，這正是而立之年的夫婦通常會面臨的問題。
