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I gave birth with no complications.
生孩子的時候沒有出現并發癥。
I had reliable childcare.
請了可靠的托兒服務。
I wasn't experiencing postpartum sadness or anxiety.
也沒有經歷產后抑郁或焦慮。
I was checking things off my list at work, albeit sometimes because I was finishing them in the evening.
工作按部就班地來，盡管有時還是會拖到晚上。
I'd also done this before.
這事我以前也不是沒干過。
But as soon as my friend said it, I felt relief.
但我朋友一說出來，我反倒覺得輕松了。
Of course.
當然。
Those two words, so matter-of-fact, validated an experience I didn't fully realize I was having.
這兩個字，她說得那么的實事求是，反倒成了我自己都沒有充分意識到的當前生活狀態的佐證。
If you ask whether a woman has "bounced back" after pregnancy, people know what you mean:
如果你問一個女人是否已從孕期“恢復過來”，大家不會不明白你的意思：
Has she, after carrying and delivering a baby, returned to her previous size and shape?
她，在懷完孩子，生完孩子之后，有沒有恢復到原來的身材和體型？
The question is not just shallow, it's lazy, focusing on what can be ascertained with a glance.
這個問題不止膚淺，還很懶惰，因為它關注的只是一眼就能得出答案的東西。
Less discussed–and harder to answer– is whether a new mom has "bounced back" in other ways.
而大家更少討論，也更難回答的是，新手媽媽在其他方面是否已經“恢復過來”。
Between changing hormones, erratic sleep and trying to keep alive a brand-new human while relying on trial, error and Google, what does O.K. even mean?
激素水平變了，睡眠不規律了，還要靠試錯和谷歌搜索養活剛來到人世的一位人類，如此種種，究竟怎樣才算“還好”？
But unspoken as it may be, the expectation for many women is that at a time when you're just trying to hold it all together,
盡管大家似乎都已心照不宣，社會對很多媽媽的期望都是，就算這個時候你在很努力地維持體面，
you must somehow figure out how to pick up where you left off.
你也必須自己想辦法弄清楚如何從休假那天迎頭趕上。
Some of the pressure is societal:
社會也是哺乳期媽媽壓力的來源：
for women fortunate enough to have time off, once you go back to work, you’re right back in it.
有產假的那部分女性還算幸運，因為復工的時候你還能直接回原崗位工作。
The fact that your baby is cluster-feeding or staging a sleep strike is not really an excuse for missing a deadline.
但無論是你的寶寶還處在密集喂食階段，還是它正處在睡眠罷工階段，都不是你錯過截止日期的正當理由。
But the haze of new motherhood has a way of warping your own perception of what you should be able to handle.
然而，初為人母的迷糊會扭曲你的認知，對自己應該具備怎樣的能力的認知。
When getting through the day requires a certain amount of autopilot (and coffee),
當你需要靠身體的肌肉記憶（和咖啡）才能維持一天的運轉的時候，
there’s not a ton of time to reflect on what caring for a new life while meeting the demands of your own is doing to you.
你并不會有太多時間去反思擁抱新生活的同時還要滿足自己的需求給你帶來了多大的負擔。
With a passing comment, my friend helped me see my own situation more clearly.
朋友的一句無心之語反倒讓我看清了我自己的處境。
Now when friends with young babies confess that they’re struggling,
現在，但凡有帶小寶寶的朋友跟我吐槽她們感覺力不從心，
even though they’re getting back into a routine, even though nothing is technically wrong,
即便已經回歸原來的生活軌跡，即便嚴格來說并沒有出現什么問題，他們依然感覺力不從心時，
I tell them about the night I accidentally dined and dashed.
我都會跟她們講我吃完飯就沖出了餐廳的那個夜晚的故事。
Sometimes we need someone to assure us that things are going to be O.K.
有時，我們需要有人對我們說，一切都會好起來的，讓我們安心。
Other times what we really need to hear is that in that moment, they’re not supposed to be.
但有時，我們真正想聽的是，那種情況，過得不好才是正常的。
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