評論
打印
I think-I establish before-there is no perfect person. Now it may seem perfect when we first meet.
我以前也說過了 沒有完美的人 我們第一次見面的時候可能感覺是完美的
And during the honeymoon phase, it is perfect. He or she is perfect.
在度蜜月的時候 也是完美的 他或她是完美的
But beyond that, suddenly, we begin to identify flaws.
但是突然 我們開始發現對方的缺點了
Hey, that's not the person I thought I got together with initially.
那不是我一開始以為可以在一起的那人
Yes, of course it's not, if what I expect is Barbie or Ken. Straight line. But it's a human being.
當然 如果我期待的是芭比娃娃或肯的話 完美的 但是對方可是人
And if I expect perfectionism from the other, I will inevitably be disappointed.
如果我從對方身上期待的是完美 我肯定會失望的
And that leads to frustration, lacks of acceptance toward the partner, and very often, usually harms the relationship.
這也會引起沮喪 對自己的伴侶不認可 也常常會傷害到人與人之間的關系
Versus on-going growth of the relationship, as we'll talk about when we talk about relationships.
相對于持續成長的關系來說 這是我們會在談論人際關系的時候談論到的
The ideal relationship is not a relationship that is devoid of failure, that is devoid of disagreements.
理想的人際關系不是一個沒有失敗、沒有不和的關系
The ideal relationship is one where there's mostly good stuff, but there's also disagreements, disappointments, fights.
理想的人際關系在包含眾多積極因素 同時也會包含不和、失望和爭吵
That's actually healthy. It helps the relationship become stronger over time. The issue is of degree.
那才是健康的人際關系 這讓人際關系隨時間變得更加穩固 關鍵是其中的度
How much positive versus negative do you have in the relationship?
你在人際關系中包含的積極因素與消極因素各是多少？
The issue is not having only positives and no negatives. That's not a healthy relationship.
這里的關鍵不是只有積極而沒有消極的因素 這樣的關系是不健康的
That's a relationship with a lot of suppression and repression at best.
這樣的關系有過多的抑制與壓抑
Perfectionism leads to anxiety, leads to stress.
完美主義會導致焦慮和壓力
