評論
打印
The first pillar of self-esteem is self-acceptance. And remember a perfectionist does not accept him/herself.
自尊的第一個基礎就是自我接受 要記得完美主義者是不接受自我的
Second, the reason why it hurts self-esteem-remember, there is constant,
第二個傷害自尊的原因是
inevitable failure for a perfectionist because there is no perfect person.
完美主義者總會遇到長期且不可避免的失敗 因為根本就沒有完美的人
And if I constantly fail or constantly perceive myself as a failure, am I going to have high self-esteem? Of course not.
而如果我一直失敗或者視自己為失敗者 那我還會有較高的自尊心嗎 當然不會
It also hurts self-esteem because a perfectionist is less likely to try, less like to put him/herself on the line.
另一個完美主義者容易自尊心受傷的原因是他們更不愿意去嘗試
And the price that I pay for that when I don't try is lower level of self-esteem.
而如果我不愿意嘗試的話 其后果就是更加低的自尊心
Remember self-perception theory. Versus on-going, continuous improvement.
還記得自我知覺理論嗎 相對的是持續的自我提升
Not a straight line, but a spiral that goes up and up. Perfectionism harms relationships.
不是一條直線直上的 而是旋轉向上的 完美主義傷害人際關系
Again, I just look back and I, you know from this perspective,
回想過去 我從這個角度來說
it's hard for me to fathom the kind of mistakes that I have made in relationships based on perfectionism.
我很難捉摸 我基于完美主義在人際關系中所犯的錯誤的類型
Why? First of all, defensiveness.
為什么 第一 自衛性
It is very difficult to form intimacy with some one when I'm constantly on the defensive,
如果我一直是處于自衛性的位置
when I can't accept or do something at the very least with criticisms.
如果我不能接受或者處理批評 那我就很難和別人形成親密的關系
What kind of intimacy is possible there?
這樣的情況下怎么可能建立親密關系呢
The other reason why it harms relationships is that very often, we mirror…
另一個完美主義傷害人際關系的原因是 我們經常
Our approach to the world mirrors our approach toward ourselves.
我們對世界的看法和對自己的看法一樣
So if I'm a perfectionist and expect perfectionism-a straight line for myself,
如果我是完美主義者那我期望的就是完美 對我來說是一條直線
I would expect the same from others, whether it's from my partner,
對他人亦是如此 不論是對于我的伴侶
whether it's later on my children or friends. And now as we…
還是對我的孩子和朋友 現在我們……
