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Found this gem of an e-mail in the inbox today:
今天在收件箱里發(fā)現(xiàn)了這封珍貴的電子郵件:
Client: Hello. My fiancée and I are looking for a wedding photographer but are having some issues with the contracts we are coming across.
客戶：你好。我的未婚夫和我在尋找一個(gè)婚禮攝影師，但是在合同方面有些問題。
We want a clause that guarantees us a refund should we ever get divorced, since we would not need the photos in that situation.
我們想要一個(gè)條款，保證我們一旦離婚就能得到退款。因?yàn)樵谀欠N情況下我們就不需要照片了。
Please let me know if this is something you have in your contract or would be willing to add. Thank you!
如果你們的合同中有這一條款或者你們?cè)敢馓砑舆@一條款，請(qǐng)聯(lián)系我。謝謝！
A customer came to the counter and wanted to buy a Big Mac. When I told her we didn't have those, she asked for a Whopper instead.
一位顧客來(lái)到柜臺(tái)，她想買一個(gè)巨無(wú)霸。當(dāng)我告訴她我沒有的時(shí)候，她又點(diǎn)了一個(gè)華堡。
I told her we didn't have those either, and she got mad at me and walked away. I work at KFC.
我告訴她我們也沒有華堡。然后她就生氣離開了。我在肯德基工作。
Three designers share their oddest client requests:
三個(gè)設(shè)計(jì)師分享了他們最怪異的客戶請(qǐng)求：
I want you to build me an app store. Like the Apple App Store, but better.
我想要你給我建一個(gè)應(yīng)用商店。就像蘋果商店那樣，但是要更好。
The roast duck on the menu looks kind of dull. Can you make it look more alive and happy?
菜單上的烤鴨看起來(lái)有點(diǎn)無(wú)聊。你能讓它看起來(lái)更加鮮活快樂嗎？
Can you please move the image up a tad and down a hair?
你能把圖像上下移動(dòng)一點(diǎn)嗎？
When you're a cop, Joe and Jane Public are your clients. And on occasion you can expect bizarre 911 calls such as these.
如果你是個(gè)警察，喬和簡(jiǎn)·帕布利克是你的客戶。有時(shí)候你會(huì)接到像這些一樣奇怪的911電話。
A woman requested to talk with a police officer because her house-keeper wasn't putting her towels away properly.
一個(gè)女人請(qǐng)求和警官通話，因?yàn)樗墓芗覜]有把她的毛巾收好。
Police receive a report of a new-born infant found in a trash can. Upon investigation, officers discover it was only a burrito.
警方收到了一個(gè)在垃圾桶發(fā)現(xiàn)了一個(gè)新生兒的報(bào)告。經(jīng)調(diào)查，警官發(fā)現(xiàn)那只是一個(gè)玉米煎餅。
During a disturbance call, a man gave an officer a false name and was arrested after he was found to have warrants for both names.
在一次騷擾電話中，一名男子給了一名警官一個(gè)假名字，他在警方發(fā)現(xiàn)對(duì)這兩個(gè)名字都有逮捕令后被逮捕。
A woman whose finger got stuck in a drain was reported to be conscious and breathing.
據(jù)報(bào)道，一名婦女的手指卡在下水道里，她神志清醒，還在呼吸。
Suspicious people were reportedly doing something with flashlights.
據(jù)報(bào)道，有可疑的人在用手電筒做一些事情。
A deputy checked and found the people were not suspicious, but merely Canadian.
一名警察檢查后發(fā)現(xiàn)，這些人并不可疑，他們只是加拿大人。
It's come to this: A Florida gas station owner has had to place a sign in her store asking customers not to warm their urine in the microwave.
事情是這樣的：佛羅里達(dá)州一個(gè)加油站的老板不得不在她的店里放置一個(gè)牌子，要求顧客不要用微波爐加熱他們的尿液。
Parul Patel's Jacksonville gas station/convenience store is just a few blocks from two drug-testing services.
帕魯帕特爾的杰克遜維爾加油站/便利店距離兩家藥檢機(jī)構(gòu)只有幾個(gè)街區(qū)。
Why the urine has to be delivered warm we can only guess, but when Patel confronted one woman, she indignantly demanded to see a sign that bans nuking urine in her store. Hence the sign.
我們只能猜測(cè)為什么這些尿液必須是熱的，但是當(dāng)帕特爾質(zhì)問一名婦女時(shí)，她憤怒地要求看到一個(gè)禁止在她的商店里使用微波爐加熱尿液的指示牌。因此，就有了這個(gè)指示牌。
I work at a museum, and a woman asked me if mummies were older than dinosaurs.
我在一家博物館工作，一位女性問我，木乃伊是否比恐龍還要古老。
"We actually get this question on a pretty regular basis," says an official with Iowa's Department of Transportation.
愛荷華州運(yùn)輸部的一位官員說(shuō)：“我們經(jīng)常會(huì)遇到這樣的問題。”
The source of confusion: The deer-crossing signs that are posted along the road.
困惑的來(lái)源：路邊的過鹿標(biāo)志。
And the question: "Why don't you put these signs where it's safer for the deer to cross?"
問題：“為什么你們不把這些標(biāo)志放在鹿過馬路更安全的地方呢？
