評論
打印
Haven't you heard there are no dumb questions in business?
難道你沒聽說在商業中沒有愚蠢的問題嗎？
From these HR queries, that truism is clearly not true.
從這些人力資源方面的問題來看，這個老生常談顯然是不正確的。
I falsified my resume. Now that I'm working here, can I change it?
我偽造了我的簡歷。現在既然我在這里工作了，我可以把它換掉嗎？
Can my supervisor require me to have specific working hours?
我的主管能要求我有具體的工作時間嗎？
Can I have my salary deferred until next year so I don't have to pay taxes this year? I don't need the money this year.
我的工資能延遲到明年再發嗎？這樣今年我就不用交稅了。今年我不需要這筆錢。
Will you give me a raise if I stop smoking marijuana? Can I wear a swimsuit and towel on casual day?
如果我不吸食大麻了，你能給我漲工資嗎？我可以在便裝日穿泳衣和毛巾嗎？
Since my mother and father both died before I came to work at this company, will I be credited for bereavement leave I didn't have to take?
既然在我來公司之前，我的父母親都去世了，那么我會因不必休喪假而受到贊揚嗎？
Everyday my supervisor tells me to stop chatting and get back to work. Can he do that?
我的上司每天都叫我停止聊天，回去工作。他能做到嗎？
Some excuses for missing work are so dumb they are almost inspired. (Feel free to borrow from these in the future.)
誤工的一些借口是如此愚蠢，他們幾乎得到了啟發。(以后你可以隨意運用這些借口。)
The employee said that he couldn't come to work because his fortune-teller had asked him not to step out of the house or he would suffer a brain hemorrhage.
這名員工說，他不能來上班，因為算命先生讓他不要走出家門，否則他會腦出血。
An employee refused to come to work because his fish was unwell.
一名員工拒絕上班，因為他的魚不舒服。
The employee said he'd gotten drunk the night before and was now suffering from a hangover.
一名員工表示，他前一天晚上喝醉了，現在因宿醉而難受。
The employee insisted he'd locked himself in his house by mistake and that the house did not have any windows to crawl out of.
一名員工堅決認為他把自己鎖在房子里了。而且房子沒有窗戶可以爬出來。
An employee said his mother made his favorite dish and he ate too much.
一名員工說，他母親做了他最喜歡的菜，他吃了太多。
Doctors and nurses in hospitals work long, strenuous hours.
醫院里的醫生和護士工作時間長，工作強度大。
Sometimes it shows up in the odd things they accidentally write in the patient charts.
有時它會出現在他們不小心寫在病人病歷上的奇怪的東西里。
The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.
這位病人眼淚汪汪，不停地哭。她似乎患有抑郁癥。
On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared.
第二天，膝蓋好些了，第三天它就完全不見了。
Bleeding began in the rectal area and continued all the way to Los Angeles.
出血開始于直腸區域，并一直持續到洛杉磯。
She is numb from her toes down. The skin was moist and dry.
她腳趾以下麻木。皮膚又濕又干。
Social history reveals this 1-year-old patient does not smoke or drink and is presently unemployed.
社會歷史顯示，這位一歲的病人既不抽煙也不喝酒，現在沒有工作。
Patient has two teenage children but no other abnormalities.
病人有兩個十幾歲的孩子，但是沒有其他異常。
Of course, sometimes HR itself is the issue, thanks to some questionable work place directives.
當然，有時候由于一些有問題的工作場所指示，人力資源本身就是問題。
I'm a teacher, so I have a million stupid rules I have to follow.
我是一名老師，所以我有一百萬個要遵守的規則。
But the worst one is that my performance evaluation is based on student improvement on a statewide literacy test. I teach wood shop.
但最糟糕的是，我的成績評估是基于學生在全州讀寫能力測試中的進步。我教木工。
At my old job, HR held a meeting to tell us that there was too much swearing on the sales floor.
在我以前的工作，人力資源經理開會告訴我們銷售人員滿口臟話。
Someone pointed out that swearing is very common in our industry and that is the way that our customers speak.
有人指出，在我們的行業中，說臟話是很常見的，這是我們的客戶說話的方式。
HR later sent out a memo explaining that swearing should be limited to conversations with clients.
人力資源經理后來發了一個備忘錄解釋道，臟話應該僅限于和客戶的對話中。
My workplace doesn't let you use the word problems. Instead, we have to say challenges if something is wrong.
我工作的地方不讓你使用問題這個詞。相反，如果出了什么問題，我們不得不說挑戰。
