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As Professor Williams explains, "These mommy wars are so bitter because both groups' identities are at stake because of another clash of social ideals:
威廉教授解釋道：“這些母親大戰相當激烈，這兩個群體的身份由于對社會理想的沖突而變得岌岌可危，那就是：
The ideal worker is defined as someone always available for work, and the 'good mother，is defined as always available to her children.
理想的工作者應該能為工作隨時待命，而一個‘好媽媽’則應該總陪伴在孩子身邊。
So ideal-worker women need to prove that, although they weren't always there, their children are fine, fine, fine.
所以理想的工作女性需要證明，自己不在孩子身邊時他們也會很好。
Women who have rejected the ideal-worker norm and settled for a slower career (or no career)
拒絕像理想的工作女性的另外一部分女性會選擇節奏更慢的事業（或干脆放棄事業），
need to prove that their compromise was necessary for the good of their families.
以證明自己的妥協都是為了家庭。
So you have each group of women judging the other, because neither group of women has been able to live up to inconsistent ideals.
所以這等于是在讓兩個群體的女人互相指責，因為她們都沒法達到本來就矛盾的理想境界。”
Professor Williams is absolutely right.
威廉姆斯教授無疑是正確的。
One of the conflicts inherent in having choice is that we all make different ones.
擁有選擇的權利雖然是好事，但帶來的沖突就是我們每個人都會做出不同的選擇。
There is always an opportunity cost, and I don't know any woman who feels comfortable with all her decisions.
機會成本總是會產生的，我還沒見過一個能對自己所有決定都滿意的女人。
As a result, we inadvertently hold that discomfort against those who remind us of the path not taken.
所以，當有人讓我們想起自己曾放棄的那些選擇時，我們會不自覺地感到惱怒。
Guilt and insecurity make us second-guess ourselves and, in turn, resent one another.
內疚和不安全感讓我們用事后諸葛的眼光去批評自己，彼此怨恨。
In a letter to The Atlantic in June 2012, Barnard president Debora Spar wrote about this messy and complicated emotion,
2012年6月，巴納德學院院長德波拉·斯帕在給《大西洋月刊》的一封信里談到自己混亂復雜的情緒，
exploring why she and so many successful women feel so guilty.
探究為什么自己和許多成功的女性一樣，會感到愧疚、自責。
She decided that it's because women "have been subtly striving all our lives to prove that we have picked up the torch that feminism provided.
她認為女性“總是傾其一生，變著法兒地證明：我們已經接過了女權主義者的火炬，
That we haven't failed the mothers and grandmothers who made our ambitions possible.
也沒有辜負前人為了我們追求事業而進行的奮斗。
