評(píng)論
打印
A guy gets a ticket to the Super Bowl but finds he's in the nosebleed section.
一個(gè)家伙買了一張超級(jí)碗比賽的票，但是他的座位位于會(huì)流鼻血的區(qū)域。
He spots an empty seat on the 50-yard line, runs down, and claims it.
他在50碼的線上找到一個(gè)空位子，跑下去坐到那里。
"What a view!" he says to the elderly man seated next to him. "Why would anyone pass this up?"
他對(duì)坐旁邊的老者說(shuō)道，“這里視野真好！為什么有人會(huì)放過(guò)這個(gè)座位呢？”
"It's my wife's," says the older man. "We've gone to every Super Bowl since we were married, but she passed away."
這位老者說(shuō)，“這是我老婆的位子，自打我們結(jié)婚以來(lái)，我們一塊看了每一場(chǎng)超級(jí)碗比賽，但是現(xiàn)在她去世了。”
"I'm so sorry. But couldn't you find a friend to come with you?" The older man shakes his head. "They're all at the funeral."
“我很抱歉。但是你不能找一位朋友和你一塊來(lái)看嗎？”這位老者搖了搖他的頭。“他們都去參加葬禮了。”
I did some research, and it turns out I'm super Irish. Even my blood type is O apostrophe.
我做了一些調(diào)查，結(jié)果發(fā)現(xiàn)我是超級(jí)愛(ài)爾蘭人，即使我的血型是O型。
To the guy who stole my antidepressants: I hope you're happy now.
致偷了我抗抑郁藥的家伙：我希望你現(xiàn)在開(kāi)心了。
The village blacksmith finally found an apprentice willing to work long, hard hours.
村里的鐵匠終于找到了一個(gè)愿意長(zhǎng)時(shí)間辛苦工作的徒弟。
The blacksmith instructed the boy, "When I take the shoe out of the fire, I'll lay it on the anvil, and when I nod my head, you hit it with this hammer."
鐵匠對(duì)男孩說(shuō)：“當(dāng)我把鞋從火里拿出來(lái)的時(shí)候，我要把它放在鐵砧上，當(dāng)我點(diǎn)頭的時(shí)候，你就用這把錘子砸它。”
The apprentice did just as he was told. Now he's the village blacksmith.
學(xué)徒照吩咐做了。現(xiàn)在他是村里的鐵匠。
Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers were dining in New York. Ginger was resplendent in a ball gown and pearls, and Fred also sported evening wear.
弗雷德·阿斯泰爾和金格·羅杰斯正在紐約用餐。金格穿著舞會(huì)禮服，戴著珍珠項(xiàng)鏈，光彩照人，弗雷德也穿著晚禮服。
But the meal was marred when the waiter bringing their desserts tripped and covered Fred from head to toe in treacle sponge.
但是，當(dāng)端來(lái)甜點(diǎn)的服務(wù)員絆了一下，把弗雷德從頭到腳都蓋上了蒸松糕時(shí)，這頓飯就被破壞了。
"I'm terribly sorry," said the waiter. "So you should be," replied Fred.
這位服務(wù)員說(shuō)，“我感到非常抱歉。”弗雷德回復(fù)道，“你的確應(yīng)該道歉。”
"Thanks to you, I've pudding on my top hat, pudding on my white tie, pudding on my tails."
“托你的福，現(xiàn)在我的禮帽上有布丁，領(lǐng)帶上有布丁，尾巴上也有布丁。”
I went to the doctor and he said, "You've got hypochondria." I said, "Not that as well!"
我去看醫(yī)生，醫(yī)生說(shuō)，“你患了疑病癥。”我說(shuō)，“也不是這樣。”
