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Our company gives out Thanksgiving turkeys to retired employees. All they have to do is stop by the plant to pick them up.
我們公司給退休員工發放感恩節火雞。他們需要做的就是來到工廠，把火雞取走。
A few days before the holiday, a retiree called to ask, "What time do the turkeys get in?"
節日前幾天，一名退休人員打電話問道，“火雞什么時候到？”
The receptionist, without thinking, responded, "Everyone starts at eight."
接待員不假思索就回答道，“每個人八點開始。”
Pearls of "wisdumb" from less-than-stellar students:
來自不太優秀的學生的“真知灼見”：
I had a girl in my class ask how long it would take for a submarine to travel from Florida to California... going underneath the country.
我班上有個女生問，一艘潛水艇從佛羅里達到加利福尼亞要多長時間……從地下過去的話。
I had a student who wrote an art history paper about "Leonard Davin Chi."
我有個學生寫了一篇關于“倫納德·達·芬奇”的藝術史論文。
I walked into a classroom where the professor was in the midst of an angry lecture on plagiarism
我走進一間教室，教授正在進行一場有關抄襲的憤怒講座，
because one of his students had turned in an essay that started with: "In my 25+ years of experience in this field ..."
因為他有一個學生上交了一篇開頭為“根據我在這個領域超過25年的經驗”的論文。
I teach French. I'd given everyone in class a lengthy piece of French homework.
我教法語。我給班上的每個人都布置了一份很長的法語作業。
One student put the entire assignment into Google Translate, but translated it into Spanish.
一個學生將整個作業放到谷歌翻譯中，但是翻譯成了西班牙語。
Hard to believe, but many of our customers at the bank still don't know how to swipe their card through the ATM card reader.
這很難使人相信，但是我們銀行的許多客戶仍然不知道如何通過ATM讀卡器刷卡。
One teller complained that she kept getting odd looks every time she explained how it's done.
一位柜員抱怨道，每次她給人們解釋如何刷卡的時候，人們都會用奇怪的眼神看她。
I found out why when I overheard her tell one man, "Strip down facing me."
在我無意中聽到她跟一個客戶說的話時，我明白了其中的原因。她說：“面向我脫掉衣服。”
On The Late Late Show, Paul McCartney told host James Corden how he and John Lennon wrote the Beatles hit "She Loves You" in McCartney's childhood home:
在《詹姆斯·柯登深夜秀》節目中，保羅·麥卡特尼告訴詹姆斯·柯登，他與約翰·列儂是如何在自己兒時的家中共同創作出披頭士樂隊熱曲《她愛你》的。
"We're just finishing it up, John and I, and we were like, 'Oh, that's it.
我和約翰就在想，“我們就要完成創作了，這首歌就是這樣了。
Let's play it for my dad.' So we say, 'Dad, Dad, you want to hear a song?'
讓我們為我爸爸演奏一下吧。”所以我們說，“爸爸，爸爸，你想聽一首歌嗎?”
So we sing, 'She loves you, yeah, yeah, yeah ...' and he listens to the whole song.
然后我們就唱了，“她愛你，耶，耶，耶”，他聽了整首歌曲。
Then he said, 'That's very nice, but son, there's enough of these Americanisms around.
然后他說，“這首歌很棒，但是兒子，現在已經有很多這種美國風格的歌曲了。
Couldn't you sing, 'She loves you, yes, yes, yes?'"
你們就不能唱，“她愛你，是的，是的，是的？”
I asked a patient to write the Medicaid number from his card on his form. This is what he wrote: "The Medicaid Number."
我讓一個病人在表格上寫下他的卡上的醫療補助號碼。這是他寫的內容：“醫療補助號碼。”
Four librarians share conversations that made their days. During story time, I read a book that mentioned doughnuts growing on trees.
四個圖書管理員分享了他們每天的談話。在講故事的時候，我讀了一本書，里面提到了長在樹上的甜甜圈。
Me: "I want to live in a world where doughnuts grow on trees!" Child: "I want to live in a world where bananas grow on trees."
我：“我想活在一個甜甜圈長在樹上的世界!”孩子：“我想活在一個香蕉長在樹上的世界。”
A patron's question for the reference desk: "Can you come and get a raccoon out of my house?"
一位顧客問咨詢臺：“你能來我家把浣熊弄出來嗎?”
A patron came up to the desk to check out a book. Me: "I'm so sorry, but you won't be able to check out since you owe $173." Man: "173? That's how much I weigh too!"
一位顧客走到桌子前來看借書。我：“抱歉，因為您欠了173美元，所以您不能借書了。”顧客：“173？我的體重也是173！”
A six-year-old girl asked me: "Do you have any books about how to make boys cry?"
一個六歲的小女孩問我：“這里有沒有關于如何讓男孩哭的書嗎？
