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In the green room I received my uniform.
在綠色房間中我接到了我的制服。
It was not the kind of outfit that I normally wear, but it was far from the Michelin Man suit that I had anticipated.
這并不是我平時所穿衣服的類型，但是這并不是我之前所想象的米其林男孩似的服裝。
Not bad, really. I looked like a refrigerator.
實際上并不差。我看上去像臺電冰箱。
But so did most of the flag-bearers, except Sophia Loren, the universal symbol of beauty and passion.
所有的護旗手都穿上了制服，除了索菲亞·羅蘭，她是公認的美麗和熱情的化身。
Sophia is over 70 and she looks great. She's sexy, slim and tall, with a deep tan.
索菲亞已經超過70歲但仍然看上去很棒。她很性感，苗條并且很高，擁有古銅色皮膚。
Now, how can you have a deep tan and have no wrinkles? I don't know.
如何才能保持古銅色皮膚并且沒有皺紋呢？我不知道。
When asked in a TV interview, "How could she look so good?"
電視采訪時被問到：“她怎么看上去那么棒?”
She replied, "Posture. My back is always straight, and I don't make old people's noises."
她回復到：“姿勢。我的背永遠挺直，并且我不會發出像老年人那樣的噪音。”
So, there you have some free advice from one of the most beautiful women on earth.
所以，現在你們得到了來自地球上最漂亮的女人之一的建議。
No grunting, no coughing, no wheezing, no talking to yourselves, no farting.
不要呻吟，不要咳嗽，不要氣喘，不自言自語，不放屁。
Well, she didn't say that exactly.
她正是嚴格按照她所說的而做的。
At some point around midnight, we were summoned to the wings of the stadium,
在半夜的某個時候，我們被叫到運動場一側，
and the loudspeakers announced the Olympic flag, and the music started -- by the way, the same music that starts here, the Aida March.
廣播中傳來會旗進場，同時音樂響起，順便提一下，就是跟這里同樣的音樂，阿依達進行曲。
Sophia Loren was right in front of me -- she's a foot taller than I am, not counting the poofy hair.
索菲亞·羅蘭就站在我前面，比我高一個頭，如果蓬松頭不計算在內的話。
She walked elegantly, like a giraffe on the African savannah, holding the flag on her shoulder.
她步伐優雅，就像是非洲摹上的長頸鹿，將旗子一端扛在肩上。
I jogged behind -- on my tiptoes -- holding the flag on my extended arm, so that my head was actually under the damn flag.
我則在后面小跑著，掂著腳，舉高手才勉強夠到旗子，因此，我的頭實際上是在那旗子下面。
All the cameras were, of course, on Sophia.
所有的鏡頭當然是索菲亞。
That was fortunate for me, because in most press photos I appear too, although often between Sophia's legs.
我還算幸運，因為后來登出的照片中都有我的存在，雖然常是在索菲亞的雙腿間。
A place where most men would love to be.
那可是大多數男人夢寐以求的地方。
