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Now, I've experienced this firsthand. For the last few years, I've been living in a cohousing community.
我親身體驗過這種生活。過去幾年中，我生活在一個合作居住社區(qū)。
It's 1.5 acres of persimmon trees, this prolific blackberry bush that snakes around a community garden,
社區(qū)公園里有1.5英畝柿子樹，黑莓叢郁郁蔥蔥，蜿蜒遍布整個公園
all smack-dab, by the way, in the middle of urban Oakland.
一切都是剛剛好，順便提一句，這個社區(qū)在奧克蘭中部。
The nine units are all built to be different, different sizes, different shapes, but they're meant to be as green as possible.
九幢房屋各有特色，大小不同，形狀也不同，但是綠化都是越多越好。
So big, shiny black solar cells on our roof mean our electricity bill rarely exceeds more than five bucks in a month.
屋頂上是巨大的黑色太陽能板，我們每個月的電費幾乎從來都不超過五美元。
The 25 of us who live there are all different ages and political persuasions and professions,
我們一共25個人，不同年齡、不同政治信仰、不同職業(yè)。
and we live in homes that have everything a typical home would have.
我們就像普通家庭一樣。
But additionally, we share an industrial-sized kitchen and eating area, where we have common meals twice a week.
但是，大家共同使用一個巨大的廚房和餐廳，我們每周有兩天在一起吃飯。
Now, people, when I tell them I live like this, often have one of two extreme reactions.
現(xiàn)在每當我告訴別人我的生活方式時，一般人的反應(yīng)都是兩個極端。
Either they say, "Why doesn't everyone live like this?"
一種反應(yīng)是：“為什么不是所有人都這樣生活？”
Or they say, "That sounds totally horrifying. I would never want to do that."
另一種反應(yīng)是：“太可怕了，我堅決不要這樣生活。”
So let me reassure you: there is a sacred respect for privacy among us, but also a commitment to what we call "radical hospitality"
但是不要擔心，我們十分尊重隱私，同時也“殷勤好客”。
not the kind advertised by the Four Seasons, but the kind that says that every single person is worthy of kindness, full stop, end of sentence.
不是四季酒店那種，而是說每個人都值得友好相待，就是這樣。
The biggest surprise for me of living in a community like this?
對我來說，住在這個社區(qū)最大的驚喜是什么？
You share all the domestic labor -- the repairing, the cooking, the weeding -- but you also share the emotional labor.
就是共同分擔家務(wù)--修理、做飯、除草，同時分享喜怒哀樂。
Rather than depending only on the idealized family unit to get all of your emotional needs met,
不是只能向家人宣泄自己的情緒
you have two dozen other people that you can go to to talk about a hard day at work or troubleshoot how to handle an abusive teacher.
而是你可以和20多個人聊聊一天的辛苦工作，或者是討論如何應(yīng)付那個滿口臟話的老師。
Teenagers in our community will often go to an adult that is not their parent to ask for advice.
我們社區(qū)的青少年經(jīng)常向其他成年人尋求意見，不僅僅是他們的父母。
It's what bell hooks called "revolutionary parenting,"
這就是貝爾·胡克斯所說的“革命性教育”
this humble acknowledgment that kids are healthier when they have a wider range of adults to emulate and count on.
也就是說，當孩子們可以模仿和依靠更多的成年人時，他們會更加健康。
Turns out, adults are healthier, too. It's a lot of pressure, trying to be that perfect family behind that white picket fence.
結(jié)果，成年人也更健康了。維持白籬笆里面的模范家庭要承受很大壓力。
