So this world that we live in, this world in which every conversation has the potential to devolve into an argument, where our politicians can't speak to one another and where even the most trivial of issues have someone fighting both passionately for it and against it, it's not normal. We're less likely to compromise, which means we're not listening to each other. And we make decisions about where to live, who to marry and even who our friends are gonna be, based on what we already believe. Again, that means we're not listening to each other.
因此，在我們生活的這個世界，這個每一次交談都有可能發展為爭論的世界，政客無法彼此交談，甚至為那些雞毛蒜皮的事情都有人群情激昂地贊成或反對，這太不正常了。我們更不傾向于妥協，這意味著我們沒有傾聽彼此。我們做的各種決定，選擇生活在何處，與誰結婚甚至和誰交朋友，都只基于我們已有的信念。再重復一遍，這說明我們沒有傾聽彼此。
A conversation requires a balance between talking and listening, and somewhere along the way, we lost that balance. So I'd like to spend the next 10 minutes or so teaching you how to talk and how to listen. Many of you have already heard a lot of advice on this, things like look the person in the eye, think of interesting topics to discuss in advance, nod and smile to show that you're paying attention, repeat back what you just heard or summarize it. So I want you to forget all of that. It is crap.There is no reason to learn how to show you're paying attention if you are in fact paying attention. We've all had really great conversations. The kind of conversation where you walk away feeling engaged and inspired, or where you feel like you've made a real connection or you've been perfectly understood.
一次成功的對話要求說話者和傾聽者之間有一個平衡，通常我們會在這個過程中的某個一點失衡，所以我希望用接下來的10分鐘教你們如何談話，以及如何傾聽。你們中間很多人已經聽過無數建議，比如看著對方的眼睛，提前想好可以討論的有趣話題，注視，點頭并且微笑來表明你的專注，重復你剛才聽到的，或者做總結。我想讓你們忘掉所有這些，全都沒用。根本沒必要去學習如何表現你很專心，如果你確實很專心。我們都曾有過很棒的交談。我們都曾有過。那種結束之后令你感到很享受，很受鼓舞的交談，或者令你覺得你和別人建立了真實的連接，或者讓你完全得到了他人的理解。

So I have 10 basic rules. If you just choose one of them and master it, you'll already enjoy better conversations. Number one: Don't multitask. If you want to get out of the conversation, get out of the conversation, but don't be half in it and half out of it. Number two: Don't pontificate. If you wanted to state your opinion without any opportunity for response or argument or push back or growth, write a blog.
我有10條基本規則。如果你選擇一條并且熟練掌握，你就已經可以享受更愉快的交談了。第一條：不要三心二意。如果你想退出交談，就退出交談。但不要身在曹營心在漢。第二條：不要過于自負地表達。如果你想要表達自己的看法，又不想留下任何機會讓人回應、爭論、反駁或闡發，寫博客去。
You need to enter every conversation assuming that you have something to learn. The famed therapist M. Scott Peck said that true listening requires a setting aside of oneself. He said that sensing this acceptance, the speaker will become less and less vulnerable and more and more likely to open up the inner recesses of his or her mind to the listener. Bill Nye: "Everyone you will ever meet knows something that you don't."
你需要在進入每一次交流時 都假定自己可以學習到一些東西。著名的治療師 M. 斯科特·派克說過，真正的傾聽需要把自己放在一邊。有時候，這意味著把你的個人觀點放在一邊。他說感受到這種接納，說話的人會變得越來越不脆弱敏感，因而越來越有可能打開自己的內心世界，呈現給傾聽者。再強調一遍，假定你需要學習新東西。比爾·奈伊說：“每一個你將要見到的人都有你不知道的東西。”
Number three: Use open-ended questions. Start your questions with who, what, when, where, why or how. If you put in a complicated question, you're going to get a simple answer out. If I ask you, "Were you terrified?" you're going to respond to the most powerful word in that sentence, which is "terrified," and the answer is "Yes, I was" or "No, I wasn't." Let them describe it. They're the ones that know. Try asking them things like, "What was that like?" "How did that feel?
第三點：使用開放式問題。以“誰”、“什么”、“何時”、“何地”、“為什么”或“如何”開始提問。如果你詢問一個復雜的問題 將會得到一個簡單的回答。如果我問你：“你當時恐懼嗎？”你會回應那句話中最有力的詞，即“恐懼”，而答案將是“是的”或者“不是”。“你當時氣憤嗎？”“是的，我當時氣得很。”讓對方去描述，對方才是了解情境的人。試著這樣問對方：“那是什么樣子？”“你感覺怎么樣？”
Number four: Go with the flow. That means thoughts will come into your mind and you need to let them go out of your mind. Number five: If you don't know, say that you don't know. Number six: Don't equate your experience with theirs. All experiences are individual. And, more importantly, it is not about you. Number seven: Try not to repeat yourself. Especially in work conversations or in conversations with our kids, we have a point to make, so we just keep rephrasing it over and over. Don't do that.
第四點：順其自然。也就是說，想法會自然流入你的頭腦，而你需要將它們表達出來。第五點：如果你不知道，就說你不知道。第六條：不要把自己的經歷和他人比較。任何經歷都是獨一無二的。而且，更重要的是，這不是在談論你的事。第七條：尤其是在工作交談中，或者和孩子的交談中。我們想聲明一個觀點，于是換著方式不停地說，不要這樣做。
Number eight: Stay out of the weeds. So forget the details. Leave them out. Number nine: This is not the last one, but it is the most important one. Listen: I cannot tell you how many really important people have said that listening is perhaps the most, the number one most important skill that you could develop. One more rule, number 10, and it's this one: Be brief. (A good conversation is like a miniskirt; short enough to retain interest, but long enough to cover the subject. —My Sister)
第八條：少說廢話。所以忘掉細節吧，沒人在乎它們。第九條：這不是最后一條，但是最重要的一條。認真傾聽。我說不上來到底有多少重要人士都說過傾聽可能是最重要的，第一重要的 你可以提升的技能。最后一條，第十條：簡明扼要。“好的交談就像恰到好處的迷你裙；足夠短，能夠吸引人，又足夠長，能夠包納（蓋住）主體 ——我妹妹的比喻”
All of this boils down to the same basic concept, and it is this one: Be interested in other people. I keep my mouth shut as often as I possibly can, I keep my mind open, and I'm always prepared to be amazed, and I'm never disappointed.
所有這些都濃縮成同一個概念，那就是：對他人產生興趣。我盡量少說話，但開放自己的思想，永遠準備著大吃一驚，而我從不會感到失望。