When I was six years old, my first grade teacher had this brilliant idea. She wanted us to experience receiving gifts but also learning the virtue of complimenting each other. And she said, "Why don't we just stand here and compliment each other? If you hear your name called, go and pick up your gift and sit down." What a wonderful idea, right? What could go wrong?
當我6歲的時候，我一年級的老師有一個很棒的主意。他想讓我們在接受禮物的同時還能學習如何表揚他人。然后她說，“讓我們在這里互相表揚吧。如果你聽到有誰表揚你，去拿一份禮物然后回座位。”多棒的主意，對么？能出什么差錯呢？
Well, there were 40 of us to start with, and then there were 20 people left, and 10 people left, and five left ... and three left. And I was one of them. And the compliments stopped. Well, at that moment, I was crying. But I don't know who felt worse that day. Was it me or the teacher? She must have realized that she turned a team-building event into a public roast for three six-year-olds. And without the humor. So that was one version of me, and I would die to avoid being in that situation again—to get rejected in public again.
開始時，我們一共有40個孩子，然后剩下20個人，然后10個人，5個人…最后剩下了3個人。而我是其中一個。再也沒有表揚了。就在那時，我開始哭。但我不知道當天誰的感覺更糟，是我還是我的老師呢？她一定意識到自己把一個團隊建設活動變成了對3個6歲孩子進行批斗的尷尬時刻。而且這種尷尬一點都不好笑。所以那是一個版本的我，我死也不要再經歷這種事情——在眾目睽睽下被拒絕。
Then, fast-forward another 14 years, I was 30. And I felt I was stuck; I was stagnant. Why is that? I felt there was this constant battle between the 14-year-old and the six-year-old. One wanted to conquer the world—make a difference—another was afraid of rejection. And every time, that six-year-old won. And this fear even persisted after I started my own company. I cannot let that six-year-old keep dictating my life anymore. I have to put him back in his place.
然后，再快進14年，我三十歲了。我感覺我卡住了，停滯不前。為什么呢？我感覺6對的我和14歲的我之間一直在斗爭。一個想征服世界，改變現狀，另一個害怕被拒絕。然而每次那個6歲的我都贏了。這個懼怕甚至持續到我開了自己的公司。我不能讓那個6歲的我繼續支配我的生活。我要戰勝他。

So this is where I went online and looked for help. Google was my friend. Then I found this website by luck. It's called rejectiontherapy.com. "Rejection Therapy" was this game, and basically the idea is for 30 days you go out and look for rejection, and every day get rejected at something, and then by the end, you desensitize yourself from the pain. And I loved that idea. And I'll feel myself getting rejected 100 days." And I came up with my own rejection ideas, and I made a video blog out of it.
所以我上網尋求幫助。谷歌是我的朋友。然后我意外找到了這個網站，叫做“被拒治療法”。“被拒治療法”是加拿大一個游戲，游戲很簡單，你出門找拒絕，持續30天。每天都主動找人因某些事拒絕你，最后你對拒絕就會感到麻木了。我太愛這個主意了。我要讓自己被拒絕100天，而且把情景錄下來。我要自己想象出被拒絕的主意，還為此創建了視頻博客。
And so here's what I did. Day One: borrow 100 dollars from a stranger. I came downstairs and I saw this big guy sitting behind a desk. He looked like a security guard. So I just approached him. And I was just walking and that was the longest walk of my life—hair on the back of my neck standing up, I was sweating and my heart was pounding. And I got there and said, "Hey, sir, can I borrow 100 dollars from you?" And he looked up, he's like, "No." "Why?" And I just said, "No? I'm sorry." Then I turned around, and I just ran.
這就是我做的。第一天：想一個陌生人借100美金。我走下樓，看到桌子后面坐了一個壯漢。可能是保安吧。所以，我接近他。我走向他，簡直是我人生中最漫長一段路，我覺得脖子后面的汗毛都豎起來了，手心都是汗，心砰砰直跳。我走到他面前，說：“先生你好，我能向你借100美金么？”他抬起頭，說：“不行。為什么？”我說：“不行嗎？真不好意思”然后我轉身就跑。
But then I saw this guy. You know, he wasn't that menacing. He was a chubby, loveable guy, and he even asked me, "Why?" In fact, he invited me to explain myself. And I could've said many things. I could've explained, I could've negotiated. I didn't do any of that. All I did was run. I felt, wow, this is like a microcosm of my life. Every time I felt the slightest rejection, I would just run as fast as I could. And you know what? The next day, no matter what happens, I'm not gonna run. I'll stay engaged.
但我又看了看那個人。他并沒有那么可怕，看起來胖乎乎的，很可愛，他甚至還問我，“為什么”。事實上，他給了我解釋的機會，我本來可以說很多。我可以解釋，可以交涉。我只是逃走了，我覺得，哇，這簡直就是我人生的縮影。每次我遇到一點小小的拒絕，我就撒腿就跑。于是我決定了，第二天，不管發生了什么，我都不會逃跑。我會繼續交涉。
And then Day Three: Getting Olympic Doughnuts. This is where my life was turned upside down. The doughnut maker took me so seriously. So she put out paper, started jotting down the colors and the rings, and is like, "How can I make this?" And then 15 minutes later, she came out with a box that looked like Olympic rings. And I was so touched. I just couldn't believe it. And that video got over five million views on YouTube. The world couldn't believe that either.
第三天，索要奧林匹克甜甜圈。我的人生從此開始被顛覆。那個做甜甜圈的特別重視我的要求。他居然拿出一張紙，記下顏色和排列，思考該怎么制作。15分鐘之后，她拿著一盒奧運五環甜甜圈出來了。我感動極了，簡直難以置信。這個視頻在Youtube上獲得了超過5百萬的瀏覽量。看起來世界也無法相信。
So I turned the rest of my 100 days of rejection into this playground—into this research project. And then I learned a lot of things. I discovered so many secrets. For example, I found if I just don't run, if I got rejected, I could actually turn a "no" into a "yes," and the magic word is, "why." I also learned that I can actually say certain things and maximize my chance to get a yes. And again, and again, I learned that if I mention some doubt people might have before I ask the question, I gained their trust. People were more likely to say yes to me. And then I learned I could fulfill my life dream by asking.
所以我把“被拒100天”剩下的經歷變成個人游樂場，變成了研究項目。我學到了很多事情，我發現了很多秘密。比如，我發現只要我在遭到拒絕之后，不逃之夭夭，我可以把不行變成行，秘訣就是問對方為什么。我又學到一招，我可以通過表述一些確定的事情，增加我的提議被接受的可能性。就這樣一次又一次，我體會到，如果在我提出自己的要求之前，我能說出對方心里的疑問，我能贏得他們的信任。他們也更有可能答應我的要求。然后我明白了，要想實現人生的理想，只要開口。
And in my case, rejection was my curse, was my boogeyman. It has bothered me my whole life because I was running away from it. Then I started embracing it. I turned that into the biggest gift in my life. When you get rejected in life, when you are facing the next obstacle or next failure, consider the possibilities. Don't run. If you just embrace them, they might become your gifts as well.
以我為例，拒絕曾是我的詛咒，曾是我的夢魔。它困擾了我一生，因為我曾經不敢面對它。然后我開始擁抱它。把它轉變為我人生中最大的禮物。當你在人生中遭遇拒絕，當你面對下一個障礙或下一次失敗，想想以下這個可能：不要逃跑。如果你擁抱它們，它們也可能成為你的禮物。