評(píng)論
打印
Chapter 13
第十三章
I dare say it would have been more seemly to decline this proposal. I think perhaps I should have made a show of the indignation I really felt, and I am sure that Colonel MacAndrew at least would have thought well of me if I had been able to report my stout refusal to sit at the same table with a man of such character. But the fear of not being able to carry it through effectively has always made me shy of assuming the moral attitude; and in this case the certainty that my sentiments would be lost on Strickland made it peculiarly embarrassing to utter them. Only the poet or the saint can water an asphalt pavement in the confident anticipation that lilies will reward his labour.
我知道更合體的做法是拒絕他的邀請(qǐng)。我想也許我該把我真正感到的氣憤顯示一番，如果我回去以后能夠向他們匯報(bào)，我如何一口拒絕了同這種品行的人共進(jìn)晚餐的邀請(qǐng)，起碼麥克安德魯上校會(huì)對(duì)我表示好感的。但是我總是害怕這出戲自己演得不象，而且不能一直演到底，這就妨礙了我裝出一副道貌岸然的樣子。再說，我肯定知道，我的表演在思特里克蘭德身上不會(huì)引起任何反響，這就更加使我難以把辭謝的話說出口了。只有詩人同圣徒才能堅(jiān)信，在瀝青路面上辛勤澆水會(huì)培植出百合花來。
I paid for what we had drunk, and we made our way to a cheap restaurant, crowded and gay, where we dined with pleasure. I had the appetite of youth and he of a hardened conscience. Then we went to a tavern to have coffee and liqueurs.
我付了酒賬，同他走到一家廉價(jià)的餐館去。我們?cè)谶@家顧客擁擠的熱鬧的餐館里痛痛快快吃了一頓晚餐。我們倆胃口都很好，我是因?yàn)槟贻p，他是因?yàn)榱夹囊呀?jīng)麻木。這以后我們到一家酒店去喝咖啡和甜酒。
I had said all I had to say on the subject that had brought me to Paris, and though I felt it in a manner treacherous to Mrs. Strickland not to pursue it, I could not struggle against his indifference. It requires the feminine temperament to repeat the same thing three times with unabated zest. I solaced myself by thinking that it would be useful for me to find out what I could about Strickland's state of mind. It also interested me much more. But this was not an easy thing to do, for Strickland was not a fluent talker. He seemed to express himself with difficulty, as though words were not the medium with which his mind worked; and you had to guess the intentions of his soul by hackneyed phrases, slang, and vague, unfinished gestures. But though he said nothing of any consequence, there was something in his personality which prevented him from being dull. Perhaps it was sincerity. He did not seem to care much about the Paris he was now seeing for the first time (I did not count the visit with his wife), and he accepted sights which must have been strange to him without any sense of astonishment. I have been to Paris a hundred times, and it never fails to give me a thrill of excitement; I can never walk its streets without feeling myself on the verge of adventure. Strickland remained placid. Looking back, I think now that he was blind to everything but to some disturbing vision in his soul.
關(guān)于這件使我來到巴黎的公事，該說的話我都已經(jīng)說了，雖然我覺得就這樣半半拉拉地把這件事放下手對(duì)思特里克蘭德太太似乎有背叛之嫌，我卻實(shí)在無法再同思特里克蘭德的冷漠抗?fàn)幜恕Ｖ挥信圆拍芤圆幌⒌臒崆榘淹患轮貜?fù)三遍。我自我安慰地想，盡力了解一下思特里克蘭德的心境對(duì)我還是有用的。再說，我對(duì)這個(gè)也更感到興趣。但這并不是一件容易事，因?yàn)樗继乩锟颂m德不是一個(gè)能說會(huì)道的人。他表白自己似乎非常困難，倒好象言語并不是他的心靈能運(yùn)用自如的工具似的。你必須通過他的那些早被人們用得陳腐不堪的詞句、那些粗陋的俚語、那些既模糊又不完全的手勢才能猜測他的靈魂的意圖。但是雖然他說不出什么有意義的話來，他的性格中卻有一種東西使你覺得他這人一點(diǎn)也不乏味。或許這是由于他非常真摯。他對(duì)于第一次見到的巴黎（我沒有算他同他妻子來度蜜月那一次）好象并不怎樣好奇，對(duì)于那些對(duì)他說來肯定是非常新奇的景象并不感到驚異。我自己來巴黎少說有一百次了，可是哪次來都免不了興奮得心頭飄忽忽的，走在巴黎街頭我總覺得隨時(shí)都會(huì)經(jīng)歷到一場奇遇。思特里克蘭德卻始終聲色不動(dòng)。現(xiàn)在回想這件事，我認(rèn)為他當(dāng)時(shí)根本什么也看不到，他看到的只是攪動(dòng)著他靈魂的一些幻景。
